On December 5, I submitted my 14th song to NSAI for online evaluation. I've written more songs than that, it's just the 14th I’ve submitted for evaluation since I started down the country road, since my first trip to Nashville in December 2011.
I just got the feedback and I’m pretty stoked. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m in the process of making some kind of scary changes in my life that’ll enable me to spend more time in Nashville. With change comes uncertainty and fear, and a little reassurance is just what I needed.
The song is called Find Me A Highway and I wrote it with my friend Emily Hurson here in Toronto. I think we got together twice and ended up with three songs and one hangover. Not bad stats. We started this one in June and got the verse and chorus melody lines, first verse lyrics, and bits and pieces of ideas for the rest of it. We shelved it while I was away for the summer, so I tied up the loose ends in October and ran them by Emily. She liked the lyrics but reminded me of some rhythmic and melodic elements I’d forgotten about. Go team!
This is what the NSAI evaluation had to say:
Congratulations, the evaluator who reviewed your song believes you are showing significant progress in your writing and you are one to watch!
********************************************************************
NASHVILLE SONGWRITERS ASSOCIATION INTERNATIONAL SONG EVALUATION
********************************************************************
FORM/STRUCTURE: You have V/C/V/C/B/Ctag. That’s the right structure.
TITLE/HOOK: It’s a good hook. You use it in a memorable way and you have a good set up.
LYRIC: This is pretty cool. The phrasing is very interesting and different. This is something that has been written before, but you have put a different spin on it. It’s clear and to the point and you have good rhymes schemes
OVERALL THEME/IDEA: It’s a good theme. This can work for the country market.
MELODY/METER (IF APPLICABLE): This is cool and contemporary. I’m not sure because I mostly hear fiddle and though I find the phrasing interesting, it feels a bit off meter in some spots. Not sure, so go over it and make sure it all feels natural. The bridge works great.
CLOSING COMMENTS: This is really cool. I am going to mark the one to watch box, because I don’t think this a hit, but it shows your sensibilities and your talent. Keep up the good work.
And here's the demo submitted:
Thursday 13 December 2012
Monday 26 November 2012
If you love something, set it free.
When I set out on the road to Nashville a year or so ago, I reckoned I’d meet some people, make some friends, eventually get introduced to someone by someone by someone who liked my songs after hearing me play them in a bar or by passing along a CD or MP3. I didn't think it'd happen in a year of traveling back and forth, but I thought it would eventually happen that way, and I should keep the songs close to my chest until that someone came along.
I’ve been reluctant/afraid to post the songs on the internet for anybody to hear. My thinking was that one of the existing songs will be the one to get things rolling – but that an artist might not be interested if the song is already kicking around out there on the ol’ internet. I just thought they’d be less likely to want to put their stamp on it, if it already had somebody else’s on it, even little ol' me.
On the other side of the coin, which has only recently come into focus, I’ve been thinking that my objective should shift form trying to physically meet someone who’ll agree to listen to the songs, to just letting the current songs free to be heard by any pair of ears and to eventually find the right pair that’ll want to hear more. So, rather than expecting any of the existing songs to get picked up and recorded, I'm shifting my mindset to the hope that they’ll spark some curiosity and help get me into a writing situation where I can create the song that does become the first successful single.
So that’s what’s been stewing for a while. Long enough, I s’pose. A friend once told me to “take more risks” and “know that you will never run out of ideas.” That advice has been bouncing around a lot in my head these days as I’ve been working up the nerve to do this... nudge open the cage door.
This one’s called "Say You Love Me, That’s All":
Say You Love Me That's All by MichaelLake
That’s Nathan Smith on the violin.
Hope you like it.
I’ve been reluctant/afraid to post the songs on the internet for anybody to hear. My thinking was that one of the existing songs will be the one to get things rolling – but that an artist might not be interested if the song is already kicking around out there on the ol’ internet. I just thought they’d be less likely to want to put their stamp on it, if it already had somebody else’s on it, even little ol' me.
On the other side of the coin, which has only recently come into focus, I’ve been thinking that my objective should shift form trying to physically meet someone who’ll agree to listen to the songs, to just letting the current songs free to be heard by any pair of ears and to eventually find the right pair that’ll want to hear more. So, rather than expecting any of the existing songs to get picked up and recorded, I'm shifting my mindset to the hope that they’ll spark some curiosity and help get me into a writing situation where I can create the song that does become the first successful single.
So that’s what’s been stewing for a while. Long enough, I s’pose. A friend once told me to “take more risks” and “know that you will never run out of ideas.” That advice has been bouncing around a lot in my head these days as I’ve been working up the nerve to do this... nudge open the cage door.
This one’s called "Say You Love Me, That’s All":
Say You Love Me That's All by MichaelLake
That’s Nathan Smith on the violin.
Hope you like it.
Friday 2 November 2012
Knock some cute out of it
My Nashville apartment rental was up near the end of August and, since I was sans bike, my original plan to spend early September riding and camping around Tennessee was kyboshed. So I snipped the tail off the trip and found a cheapish flight back to Toronto.
The day before I left, I went to a quarterly audition for the Bluebird Café Sunday writers’ night. Successfuls get to play three songs in front of the most attentive packed house in North America while the evening’s headliner warms up out back. You get graded on your first Sunday night performance and then could get invited into the regular shuffle of evening shows. It’s a foot in the door of the mini music meca that is the Bluebird.
I arrived super early and lined up behind about 20 even earlier birds to spend a couple hours waiting in the sweltering sun. Doors opened at 11:00 and we played in order of arrival. No preambles, no long musical intros—just your name, the song title, a verse, a chorus and a thank you m’am. Lemme tell ya, that all goes by pretty quick.
I was still in a brace and couldn’t play guitar. The cast had come off a couple weeks before but the wrist wasn’t up to much of anything except basking in the glorious daily sprinkle of hot shower water that it’d missed for the previous six weeks. So my Airbnb landlord backed me up on guitar. He’d also lent me his car to get there that morning, scootering over later to meet me once the doors opened. He was in and out like a six-string superman. Left me looking around for the phone booth.
I reckon there were about 80 hopefuls. The organizer’s intro said that, on average, about 10% of people get the nod. That meant, 70 or so of us would be getting rejection emails a few weeks later—if this was a good day. I sang and played tamborine and an egg shaker. It felt fun. I chose an upbeat little love song.
I listened intently to everybody before and after me until the break about an hour later (I had to split and get the borrowed car back, after all). There was a wide mix of talent and proficiency. There were drinking songs, love songs, heartbreak songs, Christian songs, inspirational dream songs, even a comedic tune. Most people seemed pretty comfortable, but there were a few nervous wrecks and fretboard fumblers. I admired them even more for getting up there.
There were some good guitarists, a few really good singers, and a bunch of really nice lines scattered here and there. But no whole song that really jumped out and made me wish I’d written it. I figured there were three or four of us within nod territory and, I must admit, I was feeling pretty confident about my song, performance and chances. But still... only 10% on a good day. Hmm... I wondered did anyone else have a mental list of probables? Was I on it?
The Bluebird folks said we’d hear back in three weeks.
Nearly two months went by. I couldn’t write very well on audition day because of the brace, so I had other people putting my name and email on the various lists. Had I paid enough attention to their dictation? I checked in with a few people who were at my table that day. Nobody’d heard yet. A week later, the mystery was revealed. A shake, not a nod. On my birthday, no less.
You saw it coming, didn’t you?
I must admit, I was surprised and pretty bummed out. The email was very matter-of-fact, which I totally respect. I hope to impress people, but I don’t want to be coddled if I don’t. A snippet:
I can honestly say my lyrics weren’t redundant. The story moves along with a very clear beginning, middle and end. Point #2: Yeah, the title is a cliché, although I haven’t heard of a song with that title before, and I thought I put a pretty cool spin on it. But still, a cliché. Did it make sense? I’m confident in saying it’s a clear story, and I’ve had it reviewed by a number of people at NSAI, SOCAN, other songwriters, etc, at various stages of the multiple edits it’s been through. Was it boring? That of course is in the ear of the beholder but I honestly didn’t think so. Good story, only real repetition of words was in the hook and there were plenty of other lines between them in the chorus. Nice melody, upbeat. Was it trite/done already? The story is of a lifelong pair of friends who end up as a couple because it’s the only love that mattered their whole lives. Like they were born for each other. That’s probably a story that’s been told a bunch of times, but in different words, different characters. Hell, I dunno. Then I got this feeling in my gut that maybe it was just too cute, which could extrapolate into not all that realistic or everyday which is a pretty strong foundation in country music.
Well, anyway, the song didn’t get me a Bluebird show, but I still play it and enjoy it. I think it’s a got a great rhythm, kind of a shuffle, and nice original yet easy to follow melody lines. The chord progression is dynamic and strong. I love the chorus lyrics. Who knows, maybe I’ll rewrite everything else and see if I can knock some cute out of it.
The day before I left, I went to a quarterly audition for the Bluebird Café Sunday writers’ night. Successfuls get to play three songs in front of the most attentive packed house in North America while the evening’s headliner warms up out back. You get graded on your first Sunday night performance and then could get invited into the regular shuffle of evening shows. It’s a foot in the door of the mini music meca that is the Bluebird.
I arrived super early and lined up behind about 20 even earlier birds to spend a couple hours waiting in the sweltering sun. Doors opened at 11:00 and we played in order of arrival. No preambles, no long musical intros—just your name, the song title, a verse, a chorus and a thank you m’am. Lemme tell ya, that all goes by pretty quick.
I was still in a brace and couldn’t play guitar. The cast had come off a couple weeks before but the wrist wasn’t up to much of anything except basking in the glorious daily sprinkle of hot shower water that it’d missed for the previous six weeks. So my Airbnb landlord backed me up on guitar. He’d also lent me his car to get there that morning, scootering over later to meet me once the doors opened. He was in and out like a six-string superman. Left me looking around for the phone booth.
I reckon there were about 80 hopefuls. The organizer’s intro said that, on average, about 10% of people get the nod. That meant, 70 or so of us would be getting rejection emails a few weeks later—if this was a good day. I sang and played tamborine and an egg shaker. It felt fun. I chose an upbeat little love song.
I listened intently to everybody before and after me until the break about an hour later (I had to split and get the borrowed car back, after all). There was a wide mix of talent and proficiency. There were drinking songs, love songs, heartbreak songs, Christian songs, inspirational dream songs, even a comedic tune. Most people seemed pretty comfortable, but there were a few nervous wrecks and fretboard fumblers. I admired them even more for getting up there.
There were some good guitarists, a few really good singers, and a bunch of really nice lines scattered here and there. But no whole song that really jumped out and made me wish I’d written it. I figured there were three or four of us within nod territory and, I must admit, I was feeling pretty confident about my song, performance and chances. But still... only 10% on a good day. Hmm... I wondered did anyone else have a mental list of probables? Was I on it?
The Bluebird folks said we’d hear back in three weeks.
Nearly two months went by. I couldn’t write very well on audition day because of the brace, so I had other people putting my name and email on the various lists. Had I paid enough attention to their dictation? I checked in with a few people who were at my table that day. Nobody’d heard yet. A week later, the mystery was revealed. A shake, not a nod. On my birthday, no less.
You saw it coming, didn’t you?
I must admit, I was surprised and pretty bummed out. The email was very matter-of-fact, which I totally respect. I hope to impress people, but I don’t want to be coddled if I don’t. A snippet:
"Though we do not give specific evaluations, here are some general observations about the auditions... redundancy, too many clichés, didn’t make sense, boring, trite, been done already, etc. These comments may not have been about your song, but it’s possible that your song might fall into one of these categories."
I can honestly say my lyrics weren’t redundant. The story moves along with a very clear beginning, middle and end. Point #2: Yeah, the title is a cliché, although I haven’t heard of a song with that title before, and I thought I put a pretty cool spin on it. But still, a cliché. Did it make sense? I’m confident in saying it’s a clear story, and I’ve had it reviewed by a number of people at NSAI, SOCAN, other songwriters, etc, at various stages of the multiple edits it’s been through. Was it boring? That of course is in the ear of the beholder but I honestly didn’t think so. Good story, only real repetition of words was in the hook and there were plenty of other lines between them in the chorus. Nice melody, upbeat. Was it trite/done already? The story is of a lifelong pair of friends who end up as a couple because it’s the only love that mattered their whole lives. Like they were born for each other. That’s probably a story that’s been told a bunch of times, but in different words, different characters. Hell, I dunno. Then I got this feeling in my gut that maybe it was just too cute, which could extrapolate into not all that realistic or everyday which is a pretty strong foundation in country music.
Well, anyway, the song didn’t get me a Bluebird show, but I still play it and enjoy it. I think it’s a got a great rhythm, kind of a shuffle, and nice original yet easy to follow melody lines. The chord progression is dynamic and strong. I love the chorus lyrics. Who knows, maybe I’ll rewrite everything else and see if I can knock some cute out of it.
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Rose-coloured glasses
I feel like a giddy junkie scoring on the sidewalk in broad daylight outside the slammer after 60 days. I’m importing to iTunes the 20 or so CDs that I bought or traded for my own in Nashville but couldn’t listen to there because the disk drive in my laptop was acting wonky the whole time.
I have a funny feeling that my favourite will be Mountain Sea by Desert Noises. I saw them twice and must admit I have a huge crush on this soft-spoken, loud-playin’ four-piece from Utah. I was the guy in the crowd yelling Utah!! Couldn’t contain myself. They are amazing. Like a modern-day beachless Beach Boys at their mature, Pet Sounds best. Only different. In close second will likely be Dead Woman Walkin’ by Megan Jean and the KFB. KFB stands for Klay Family Band, but it could just as easily stand for Kickass Fuckin’ Banjo. Maybe you can get it on iTunes, but don’t. Google them and get yourself a plane ticket. Buy them drinks and a hotel room. This husband-wife duo have been living in their car and touring the good ol’ USA for years, playing 200 shows every 365 days. Calm Byrne plays banjo and electric guitar. Animated Megan Jean plays acoustic guitar, kick drum, hardcore washboard and lungs from somewhere just the other side of Purgatory.
If that plane ticket happens to land you near Nashville, spend Tuesday nights at The Basement. It’s New Faces night, where unknown and occasionally eventually-to-be-massive artists play 15 minutes each with the coveted final act allotted 20 whole luscious minutes. It’s a crap shoot. You may indeed hear crap. But you will hear gold. That’s where I heard Desert Noises and Megan Jean & the KFB. Split your other nights between The Basement and Belcourt Taps where I saw many great country rounds and traveling bands. Let’s not forget the Bluebird and 12th and Porter. Oh, the list of venues is too long. But there are my four favourites.
My friend Gina gives frequent thanks to her friends and the universe in general for what she calls the abundance in her life. Gina is not rich. Not the way you’d normally define it, anyway. But she sees it differently and has helped me see things a little differently too.
I returned home to abundance indeed. A brilliant young local violinist emailed to say he just found an apartment in town and asked when my wrist would be healed enough so we can play together again. Another old friend said she is selling her downtown condo, did I want a deal? I’m considering. I had a great chat with my boss, for whom I’ve been working remotely for the past two months from Nashville via email and Skype. She is in full support of the plan to continue trekking back and forth across the border in search of a Nashville cut. An energetic and melodic young pop-jazz songwriter I met at the Bluebird Café Sunday evening emailed to ask when I’d be south again, maybe we can co-write.
I am in a state of flux. Hovering between the poetic introspective alt-rock songs about uncertainty from my past and the inspiration to write more universal and positive pop and country songs for my future. I’ve been so inspired and touched by several indie rock, country and quirky acts these past two months. I can’t tell which way the weather vane is pointing.
Nothing “big” has happened, but I am a touch drunk with possibility, much of it simply unseen or underappreciated before.
Many thanks to Pauline, Oliver, Gina, Richard, Ashley, the NSAI office gang, Rob, Steve, Rose, Ambra, Roy, Gabe, Jesse, Emma, Rocky. I must be forgetting a few, apologies.
My summer in Nashville wasn’t at all what it was supposed to be. I crashed my bike. Busted my wrist. Broke my heart. Nothing went according to plan. Plan A, that is.
Look around you, my friends. Put on your rose-coloured glasses. Throw away your other lenses. What good are they anyway?
I have a funny feeling that my favourite will be Mountain Sea by Desert Noises. I saw them twice and must admit I have a huge crush on this soft-spoken, loud-playin’ four-piece from Utah. I was the guy in the crowd yelling Utah!! Couldn’t contain myself. They are amazing. Like a modern-day beachless Beach Boys at their mature, Pet Sounds best. Only different. In close second will likely be Dead Woman Walkin’ by Megan Jean and the KFB. KFB stands for Klay Family Band, but it could just as easily stand for Kickass Fuckin’ Banjo. Maybe you can get it on iTunes, but don’t. Google them and get yourself a plane ticket. Buy them drinks and a hotel room. This husband-wife duo have been living in their car and touring the good ol’ USA for years, playing 200 shows every 365 days. Calm Byrne plays banjo and electric guitar. Animated Megan Jean plays acoustic guitar, kick drum, hardcore washboard and lungs from somewhere just the other side of Purgatory.
If that plane ticket happens to land you near Nashville, spend Tuesday nights at The Basement. It’s New Faces night, where unknown and occasionally eventually-to-be-massive artists play 15 minutes each with the coveted final act allotted 20 whole luscious minutes. It’s a crap shoot. You may indeed hear crap. But you will hear gold. That’s where I heard Desert Noises and Megan Jean & the KFB. Split your other nights between The Basement and Belcourt Taps where I saw many great country rounds and traveling bands. Let’s not forget the Bluebird and 12th and Porter. Oh, the list of venues is too long. But there are my four favourites.
My friend Gina gives frequent thanks to her friends and the universe in general for what she calls the abundance in her life. Gina is not rich. Not the way you’d normally define it, anyway. But she sees it differently and has helped me see things a little differently too.
I returned home to abundance indeed. A brilliant young local violinist emailed to say he just found an apartment in town and asked when my wrist would be healed enough so we can play together again. Another old friend said she is selling her downtown condo, did I want a deal? I’m considering. I had a great chat with my boss, for whom I’ve been working remotely for the past two months from Nashville via email and Skype. She is in full support of the plan to continue trekking back and forth across the border in search of a Nashville cut. An energetic and melodic young pop-jazz songwriter I met at the Bluebird Café Sunday evening emailed to ask when I’d be south again, maybe we can co-write.
I am in a state of flux. Hovering between the poetic introspective alt-rock songs about uncertainty from my past and the inspiration to write more universal and positive pop and country songs for my future. I’ve been so inspired and touched by several indie rock, country and quirky acts these past two months. I can’t tell which way the weather vane is pointing.
Nothing “big” has happened, but I am a touch drunk with possibility, much of it simply unseen or underappreciated before.
Many thanks to Pauline, Oliver, Gina, Richard, Ashley, the NSAI office gang, Rob, Steve, Rose, Ambra, Roy, Gabe, Jesse, Emma, Rocky. I must be forgetting a few, apologies.
My summer in Nashville wasn’t at all what it was supposed to be. I crashed my bike. Busted my wrist. Broke my heart. Nothing went according to plan. Plan A, that is.
Look around you, my friends. Put on your rose-coloured glasses. Throw away your other lenses. What good are they anyway?
Saturday 14 July 2012
Look ma, no hands
With all due respect to Messieurs Scaphoid and Radius—and though I eagerly await your return to the lineup—it was quite gratifying indeed.
Tuesday 10 July 2012
That's how I roll[ed]
Part of this summer's stay in Nashville was to be about writing songs and playing guitar. Another big part of it was to be weekends roaming around the georgeous winding Tennessee roads on my bike, about which I'm feeling a bit sad and nostalgic right now. I got a call from the appraiser today -- my baby is totaled. :-(
I put over 50,000 km on it in 5 seasons, and the appraiser said he was floored at the gerat condition it was in! Let's see... I've ridden to Sudbury, Lake Superior, North Bay, Montreal, Manitoulan Island, Kingston, New York, Ohio, Michigan, West Virginia, Indiana, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Muskoka, Algonquin and a zillion points in between. Met some great folks too.
Bye-bye baby. Ah, some fond memories...
 |
| Camping in the Adirondacks. Did some really nice roads around Lake Placid on this trip. Also went to NYC and visited my brother and his fiance on Long Island. |
 | |
| Riding the Tail Of The Dragon from Tennessee into North Carolina. What an amazing road. The first time I rode it was after a long day of delays coming from Knoxville. I pulled into the Deals Gap campsite late at night, very happy to be greeted by a few Harley boys offering me a cold beer at their picnic table. I said "Man, I don't know if I've got the nerve to ride the Dragon if it's any curvier that that." One fella said "Which way'd you come from?" I pointed up the hill and they all let out big laughs, "Son, you just rode the Dragon in the dark!" |
 | |
| Just a glimpse at the awesomeness of the Dragon on the GPS. You should see it zoomed in. Or, better yet, through a visor! |
 |
| With my old musical pal Jess in West Virginia. She and her man Dan were nice enough then to give me a bedroom and get me a set at the local music mecca. And after many years apart, she facebooked to offer help after the crash. Lovely people. |
 |
| My mom ready for her first ever motorcycle ride, the day I took it out of storage in April 2009. Oh what a chilly ride it was! She hopped off all giggly saying "Okay, I can see the appeal now." |
 |
| Tickled pink. I believe this is day 2 of riding the Dragon and other roads around the area in 2010. |
 |
| Last summer, fiddler Bourton Scott and I strapped our instruments and camping gear on our bikes for a zig-zag music tour around Ontario that accumulated far more miles than cover charges, tips or CD sales. But that was kind of the point, really. What a blast! |
 |
| Camping with dear friends Mike and Lauren somewhere in northeastern Ontario in October! Arrived late and freezing to be warmed up with a wicked roasted salmon supper and tunes around the campfire. Good times indeed. |
Sunday 8 July 2012
Pulling Granny from the flames
As I've mentioned before, one of the great things about being a member of NSAI is the song evaluation service by pro writers. You get 12 online and 2 in-person a year with the membership, and I'm pretty sure you can buy more if you want.
I don't want to give away any of the lyrics, but as an example of the kind of feedback you can get, here's an evaluation I got on July 2.
Evaluator feedback
FORM
SUGGESTIONS
TITLE/HOOK
LYRIC
OVERALL IDEA
MELODY/METER
CLOSING COMMENT
What I did with it
After a week of feeling pretty sad and rudderless following the motorcycle accident, on Saturday morning, I got my sorry ass out of bed and went to Bosco’s in Hillsboro village for lunch. There are 3 other café/brunch spots on the block but they all had insane line-ups. So I went to Boscos. And it turned out to be the perfect place for what I had in mind. It’s bigger and quieter that the other spots, so better for me to think straight. They don’t have any breaky grub, but they’ve got a wicked lunch menu.
I ordered the grilled chicken breast sandwich: soy and pineapple marinated chicken breast grilled and topped with fontina cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and basil mayonnaise. Then I pulled out the computer and opened a PDF of the song feedback and a Word doc of the lyrics.
The core idea behind the song is about looking forward to your dreams in a positive way – and I think I put a nice little lyrical spin on it in the hook. Still, I was a bit anxious about the hook/title when submitting the song, because it’s a bit a mellow and mushy. Also, there's a fine line to walk when putting a twist on a familiar phrase or notion. The hook worked for me, but I didn’t know how it would hold up under someone else's scrutiny.
So, I was really happy to read “It’s a good hook. I suggest you don’t give it away in the verse.” I had the hook lyric starting each verse as well as the start and end of the chorus. I was on the fence about that before I submitted it for evaluation, and I’d already been through two or three major re-writes of the song. Again an interesting example of pro feedback in line with a weird feeling I’d had in my gut. I need to stop second-guessing my gut. I keep telling myself that, but it seems I'm not always listening. The same could be said for situations outside writing... Thankfully, that's not what this blog is about!
VERSES
It was easy enough to edit the hook out of the verses, which were structured like this:
Hook line
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme B
Getting rid of the hook intro quickly shortened and evened things out. Before it was like each verse had a prologue, as if I was telegraphing a pass across center ice. Now I just get down to the business of sliding the puck ahead. I haven’t edited the demo yet, but each verse is 1 or 2 bars shorter, depending on the edit, and therefore 3-6 seconds shorter, depending on what comes before it (ie: intro vs chorus).
For the time being, I haven't cut from 2 to 1 verse at the beginning. Here’s my thinking so far on that: In the original, the prechorus started at 0:30 and the chorus at 0:42. The verses move much quicker now since the ‘prologue’ is out of the way and because the other lines are pretty short (7 syllables in lines 1-3 and 5 syllables in line 4). After the edits, the chorus will still start around 0:36. And I feel like V2 really adds a nice depth to the idea. So I kept it.
Next, I considered this comment: “Perhaps it would have more impact if you were more defined about who you are talking to. It could be your listeners, and that’s fine, but if you can put more of yourself in this, it would have more impact. You basically say the same kinds of things through out the song, so there’s room for different angles and other aspects of the subject…”
This was totally accurate. I had a bunch of nice ways of saying very similar things. So I needed to decide which said it best, then come up with something more to add. The ‘who’ was a bit tricky. In reality, when I wrote the song, I was pep talking myself, but also thinking of language that a couple of friends use for positive thinking and imagining them giving me the advice.
I ended up trashing V3 and V4, and writing a new V3 that adds another layer to the concept as well as suggesting a relationship between singer and listener.
I know, this is all really abstract without being able to read the lyrics. How about this: before, I had three verses that described fire engines. Now I’ve got verses that describe the fire engine, the guys on it, and the granny they pull from the flames.
CHORUS
The old chorus rhyme scheme was A A, B B, C C, but with the singing pauses in there, it actually sounds more like this:
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Climb-out rhyme C
Into hook rhyme C
Oy. That looks complex, and I know what the real lyrics are. So your head’s probably spinning! I took the advice to shorten and simplify. Now it looks more like this:
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Climb out rhyme B
Into hook rhyme B
Which is essentially a 4-line chorus instead of a 5-line chorus. What the heck was I thinking?
Not only did I delete lines, but I edited the ones that remained, so they do all the work of the old chorus, plus a nice extra nugget from an old verse that got cut.
BRIDGE
I took the existing melody of the instrumental break, combined it with some edited lines from old V4 and presto: bridge.
RECAP
Now the structure is this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / B / C
Instead of this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / INST / PRE / C
All the parts are shorter now, and they build on each other, instead of reiterating the same idea. Truck, firemen, granny instead of truck, truck, truck.
Something else interesting is that this is the first time in my 20 something years writing that I worked on lyrics without picking up a guitar to try them out. The guitar’s absence forced me to focus and be more efficient with my time. Of course, it was a bitter-sweet evolution, since the catalyst is the cast on my fret hand. But it was definitely a good lesson in editing and focus.
I tried playing guitar today. If I hold it like a cello, I can strum high on the neck like a vertical Johnny Cash and fret G and C. But even I don’t have a chord progression that simple. So the guitar wasn’t out of the case for very long.
But the song is stronger now, and that’s what matters for this post.
ML
I don't want to give away any of the lyrics, but as an example of the kind of feedback you can get, here's an evaluation I got on July 2.
Evaluator feedback
FORM
- V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / INST / PRE / C
SUGGESTIONS
- Edit down your chorus by 2 lines
- Only do 1 verse at the top of the song
- Don’t do the pre chorus after the instrumental break. Consider writing lyrics for the break and turning it into a bridge. Then go straight into the final chorus
- So: V / C / V / C / B / C or V / C / V / C / INST / C
TITLE/HOOK
- It’s a good hook. I suggest you don’t give it away in the verse. Save it for the chorus.
LYRIC
- You have a lot of good lines and images and it’s a good sentiment. In general it works well. Perhaps it would have more impact if you were more defined about who you are talking to. It could be your listeners, and that’s fine, but if you can put more of yourself in this, it would have more impact. You basically say the same kinds of things through out the song, so there’s room for different angles and other aspects of the subject that would be less redundant.
OVERALL IDEA
- This is a good theme. I hear this more for the Folk/Americana market.
MELODY/METER
- This is very melodic. The lift towards the end of the chorus works really well, but I suggest you have it come in 2 lines sooner and do the edit I suggested above.
CLOSING COMMENT
- This can use some tweaking, but it’s very cool. Off hand, I can’t think of any artists that would cut this, only because I hear this more for you as an artist, and other artists that would do this kind of thing, usually write their own songs.
What I did with it
After a week of feeling pretty sad and rudderless following the motorcycle accident, on Saturday morning, I got my sorry ass out of bed and went to Bosco’s in Hillsboro village for lunch. There are 3 other café/brunch spots on the block but they all had insane line-ups. So I went to Boscos. And it turned out to be the perfect place for what I had in mind. It’s bigger and quieter that the other spots, so better for me to think straight. They don’t have any breaky grub, but they’ve got a wicked lunch menu.
I ordered the grilled chicken breast sandwich: soy and pineapple marinated chicken breast grilled and topped with fontina cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and basil mayonnaise. Then I pulled out the computer and opened a PDF of the song feedback and a Word doc of the lyrics.
The core idea behind the song is about looking forward to your dreams in a positive way – and I think I put a nice little lyrical spin on it in the hook. Still, I was a bit anxious about the hook/title when submitting the song, because it’s a bit a mellow and mushy. Also, there's a fine line to walk when putting a twist on a familiar phrase or notion. The hook worked for me, but I didn’t know how it would hold up under someone else's scrutiny.
So, I was really happy to read “It’s a good hook. I suggest you don’t give it away in the verse.” I had the hook lyric starting each verse as well as the start and end of the chorus. I was on the fence about that before I submitted it for evaluation, and I’d already been through two or three major re-writes of the song. Again an interesting example of pro feedback in line with a weird feeling I’d had in my gut. I need to stop second-guessing my gut. I keep telling myself that, but it seems I'm not always listening. The same could be said for situations outside writing... Thankfully, that's not what this blog is about!
VERSES
It was easy enough to edit the hook out of the verses, which were structured like this:
Hook line
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme B
Getting rid of the hook intro quickly shortened and evened things out. Before it was like each verse had a prologue, as if I was telegraphing a pass across center ice. Now I just get down to the business of sliding the puck ahead. I haven’t edited the demo yet, but each verse is 1 or 2 bars shorter, depending on the edit, and therefore 3-6 seconds shorter, depending on what comes before it (ie: intro vs chorus).
For the time being, I haven't cut from 2 to 1 verse at the beginning. Here’s my thinking so far on that: In the original, the prechorus started at 0:30 and the chorus at 0:42. The verses move much quicker now since the ‘prologue’ is out of the way and because the other lines are pretty short (7 syllables in lines 1-3 and 5 syllables in line 4). After the edits, the chorus will still start around 0:36. And I feel like V2 really adds a nice depth to the idea. So I kept it.
Next, I considered this comment: “Perhaps it would have more impact if you were more defined about who you are talking to. It could be your listeners, and that’s fine, but if you can put more of yourself in this, it would have more impact. You basically say the same kinds of things through out the song, so there’s room for different angles and other aspects of the subject…”
This was totally accurate. I had a bunch of nice ways of saying very similar things. So I needed to decide which said it best, then come up with something more to add. The ‘who’ was a bit tricky. In reality, when I wrote the song, I was pep talking myself, but also thinking of language that a couple of friends use for positive thinking and imagining them giving me the advice.
I ended up trashing V3 and V4, and writing a new V3 that adds another layer to the concept as well as suggesting a relationship between singer and listener.
I know, this is all really abstract without being able to read the lyrics. How about this: before, I had three verses that described fire engines. Now I’ve got verses that describe the fire engine, the guys on it, and the granny they pull from the flames.
CHORUS
The old chorus rhyme scheme was A A, B B, C C, but with the singing pauses in there, it actually sounds more like this:
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Climb-out rhyme C
Into hook rhyme C
Oy. That looks complex, and I know what the real lyrics are. So your head’s probably spinning! I took the advice to shorten and simplify. Now it looks more like this:
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Climb out rhyme B
Into hook rhyme B
Which is essentially a 4-line chorus instead of a 5-line chorus. What the heck was I thinking?
Not only did I delete lines, but I edited the ones that remained, so they do all the work of the old chorus, plus a nice extra nugget from an old verse that got cut.
BRIDGE
I took the existing melody of the instrumental break, combined it with some edited lines from old V4 and presto: bridge.
RECAP
Now the structure is this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / B / C
Instead of this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / INST / PRE / C
All the parts are shorter now, and they build on each other, instead of reiterating the same idea. Truck, firemen, granny instead of truck, truck, truck.
Something else interesting is that this is the first time in my 20 something years writing that I worked on lyrics without picking up a guitar to try them out. The guitar’s absence forced me to focus and be more efficient with my time. Of course, it was a bitter-sweet evolution, since the catalyst is the cast on my fret hand. But it was definitely a good lesson in editing and focus.
I tried playing guitar today. If I hold it like a cello, I can strum high on the neck like a vertical Johnny Cash and fret G and C. But even I don’t have a chord progression that simple. So the guitar wasn’t out of the case for very long.
But the song is stronger now, and that’s what matters for this post.
ML
Always read the fine print
Honestly, I have no recollection of discussing this with anyone at the hospital:
 |
| ER Physician Report, 1 July 2012 |
The "new" one is a distal radius fracture. I'm of course assuming that the cast will do the trick for that too, a convenient two-for-one deal. But I'm still curious. I see more phone tag with Cincinnati in my near future.
Wednesday 4 July 2012
The Scaphoid Blues
The last time I stepped foot in Nashville, it was off a plane and into the arms of a beautiful woman who made my heart sing. Today’s arrival was a lot different.
First, there were no open arms, and I stepped out of the passenger side of a Mercury sedan. Not off a plane and definitely not off the seat of my Suzuki V-Strom as planned. My poor injured bike is currently caged at a wrecking yard in Cincinnati, its fate to be determined by the folks at Jevco Insurance. I’m hoping with all my heart that they will cover shipment back to Canada because I can’t afford to ship it back myself and I won’t be able to ride it in the next two months. It doesn’t run and needs a little work to be road worthy again. Plus there’s the wee issue of the cast on my left arm that poses some problems for squeezing the clutch and holding on in general.
My last post said that the wrist wasn’t broken. I wrote that Saturday night. But Sunday morning, I got a call from the hospital saying another radiologist had looked at the x-ray at it was indeed broken – a fractured scaphoid.
Dr. Hoover at University of Cincinnati Hospital’s hand orthopedic clinic was awesome (actually, everybody in the clinic was awesome) at my follow-up on Tuesday. If you bust your hand, go see him. We sat down in one of those usual little exam rooms with the white medical cupboards, ancient faded bone illustrations on the walls, and the exam bench with stainless steel stirrups and all that jazz.
Doc H started the whole thing by saying “I think the ER folks gave you a bit of a scare on Sunday and, although their hearts were in the right place, there really isn’t that much need to worry in this case.” Then he pulled out his pen. You know that roll of paper they pull down over the bench for each new patient to sit on? He drew a nice big diagram of the scaphoid bone on it. I wish I’d kept it; the pic below is borrowed. Hopefully I’ll recall the details properly.
The scaphoid is kind of bean shaped. Blood flow comes in through the narrow end, so fractures around there usually heal quite well and he hardly ever operates for them. The fat end doesn’t get great circulation, so fractures there tend to cause problems and he often operates there. Other fractures across the middle “waistline” can heal on their own or require surgery. It mostly depends on how well the two pieces of bone are aligned. If they’re displaced, then a screw is needed to pull them back together. But if they’re still well aligned, then they usually heal just fine on their own in a cast.
The two pieces of my scaphoid were perfectly aligned in the Saturday x-rays, and still A-OK in the new x-rays on Tuesday. Doc H said there was a 90-95% chance, probably more like 95%, that my fracture would heal.
This was a massive relief. I told him how stressed I’d been about the possibility of surgery because it meant I’d have to end the trip right there and head back to Canada. I had no idea what the insurance or US cost implications would be, plus I’d like to have ongoing post-op access to the surgeon who did the job. Mostly, it was the fear of $$$.
Why was I so impressed with Dr. Hoover? Aside from the modern art, of course... Because he said things like “Listen, this is my absolute favourite operation, so if there was any reasonable argument for doing it, I’d have you in there right now” and “If it were me, I’d get the cast and go to Nashville. In the off chance it doesn’t heal you can always get the surgery later in Canada and you won’t miss any of the great experiences that lie ahead of you on this trip. But I don’t think you need to worry about the surgery anyway.”
Therefore, I am now in Nashville, from where my friends Pauline and Oliver drove last night, arriving in Cincinnati at 1:05 AM. I had a room waiting for them and we met (amid a sea of excited and very snazzily dressed Chinese choir girls in town for the World Choir Games) over breakfast which I am willing to bet, at the Hampton Inn & Suites on Vine Street, is the biggest and bestest free breakfast at any hotel in North America. They also give discounts to hospital patients and all the staff are wicked friendly and sweet.
We talked for over an hour before loading the car and then talked for five or so more on the road. I had my first Cracker Barrel meal, great chicken pot pie. I had to wrestle Oliver away from the restaurant bill and again away from the gas pump so I could contribute something. After all, they were spending over nine hours driving, half of which was on their 4th of July holiday, to rescue me and my bikeless bike gear from the lovely, I’m sure, but lonely pit stop of Cincinnati.
I can’t thank them enough.
First, there were no open arms, and I stepped out of the passenger side of a Mercury sedan. Not off a plane and definitely not off the seat of my Suzuki V-Strom as planned. My poor injured bike is currently caged at a wrecking yard in Cincinnati, its fate to be determined by the folks at Jevco Insurance. I’m hoping with all my heart that they will cover shipment back to Canada because I can’t afford to ship it back myself and I won’t be able to ride it in the next two months. It doesn’t run and needs a little work to be road worthy again. Plus there’s the wee issue of the cast on my left arm that poses some problems for squeezing the clutch and holding on in general.
My last post said that the wrist wasn’t broken. I wrote that Saturday night. But Sunday morning, I got a call from the hospital saying another radiologist had looked at the x-ray at it was indeed broken – a fractured scaphoid.
Dr. Hoover at University of Cincinnati Hospital’s hand orthopedic clinic was awesome (actually, everybody in the clinic was awesome) at my follow-up on Tuesday. If you bust your hand, go see him. We sat down in one of those usual little exam rooms with the white medical cupboards, ancient faded bone illustrations on the walls, and the exam bench with stainless steel stirrups and all that jazz.
Doc H started the whole thing by saying “I think the ER folks gave you a bit of a scare on Sunday and, although their hearts were in the right place, there really isn’t that much need to worry in this case.” Then he pulled out his pen. You know that roll of paper they pull down over the bench for each new patient to sit on? He drew a nice big diagram of the scaphoid bone on it. I wish I’d kept it; the pic below is borrowed. Hopefully I’ll recall the details properly.
 |
| Image source: http://www.mlrehabpt.com/?page=library&list=wrist&article=42#article_top |
The two pieces of my scaphoid were perfectly aligned in the Saturday x-rays, and still A-OK in the new x-rays on Tuesday. Doc H said there was a 90-95% chance, probably more like 95%, that my fracture would heal.
This was a massive relief. I told him how stressed I’d been about the possibility of surgery because it meant I’d have to end the trip right there and head back to Canada. I had no idea what the insurance or US cost implications would be, plus I’d like to have ongoing post-op access to the surgeon who did the job. Mostly, it was the fear of $$$.
Why was I so impressed with Dr. Hoover? Aside from the modern art, of course... Because he said things like “Listen, this is my absolute favourite operation, so if there was any reasonable argument for doing it, I’d have you in there right now” and “If it were me, I’d get the cast and go to Nashville. In the off chance it doesn’t heal you can always get the surgery later in Canada and you won’t miss any of the great experiences that lie ahead of you on this trip. But I don’t think you need to worry about the surgery anyway.”
Therefore, I am now in Nashville, from where my friends Pauline and Oliver drove last night, arriving in Cincinnati at 1:05 AM. I had a room waiting for them and we met (amid a sea of excited and very snazzily dressed Chinese choir girls in town for the World Choir Games) over breakfast which I am willing to bet, at the Hampton Inn & Suites on Vine Street, is the biggest and bestest free breakfast at any hotel in North America. They also give discounts to hospital patients and all the staff are wicked friendly and sweet.
We talked for over an hour before loading the car and then talked for five or so more on the road. I had my first Cracker Barrel meal, great chicken pot pie. I had to wrestle Oliver away from the restaurant bill and again away from the gas pump so I could contribute something. After all, they were spending over nine hours driving, half of which was on their 4th of July holiday, to rescue me and my bikeless bike gear from the lovely, I’m sure, but lonely pit stop of Cincinnati.
I can’t thank them enough.
Saturday 30 June 2012
Cincinnati: it’s a hard road
People often talk to me in parking lots when I’m by the bike and say things like “Man you must really be cooking in that leather jacket in this heat.” True, it can be sweltering. Luckily, being a writer, I have devised a clever little catchphrase to summarize my philosophy: “I dress for crashin’, not for fashion” (say it out loud -- it sounds better than it looks). Today however, it was so hot that after about four hours on the road, I couldn’t bear it any more and decided to take a little hiatus from the philosophy. What are the odds? One hour in shirt sleeves won’t kill me. I’ll be careful. It’ll be fine. So I pulled into Cincinnati to find a pharmacy and get some sunscreen. A bottle of spf 100. After all, if I was gonna be dumb, then was gonna be smart about it. So I lathered a thick white layer of sunscreen onto my arms and neck, wrapped the leather jacket around the guitar and bungeed it all down nice and snug. I gotta tell ya, it was still effin’ hot. But I was looking forward to the cool highway breeze.
Then, about 5 minutes after taking the jacket off, I wiped out. I kid you not. Five minutes, tops. Were the powers that be saying, “Son, best not take that on-ramp.”?
It was on a wet bridge, construction zone, tight traffic. The truck in front of me jammed on its brakes. I put mine on and tried to steer it away to one side. But I fishtailed on the wet road and went flying off the bike. Exact sequence of events is a bit foggy, but I heard the bike scraping as [I think] I was in the air. What a mournful, horrible sound. My poor baby. Then I noticed vibrations and a similar deep grinding noise amplified all around my head. Noticed a very extreme close-up 3D-ish kind of concrete looking surface scraping at the other side of my visor. Hmm, oh, I guess that’s the road. My left hand was out, palm down hard on the road – still handily wrapped in its leather motorcycle glove. Luckily, I hadn't thrown all caution to the wind... My right arm skidded along on the very fashionable but leatherless forearm before buckling under, thankfully without any wonky twists or snaps. Just some good ol’ fashioned road rash.
When I came to a stop, I just lay there for a few minutes, kind of absorbing the pain in my left wrist and holding onto it with my other hand. There was also a bit of a process rolling through my head, going through what parts hurt and what parts didn’t. What parts moved, what parts didn’t. I was extremely happy when that last list came up empty. Then I noticed a woman’s voice off in the distance. I wear earplugs for the wind noise, so she sounded farther away… she was kneeling right beside my head, talking to me in between sentences to her cell phone. Uh-oh. That’s when I really realized what had happened. I mean, I never lost consciousness but, you know, sometimes when things happen fast, you just need a few seconds to put the whole picture together. In this case, the picture was me lying in the road with a lady calling 911. Awesome.
It took me a couple of tries to sit up straight. My wrist was throbbing like an sob and then all I could think about was that I can't ride my motorcycle and I can’t play guitar, that the whole summer trip is ruined.
But of course it could have been much worse.
So… I am thankful that I am not dead, even more so that I am not maimed or broken, that my x-rays were negative, that my right arm is just scraped and quite able to do most of the work on this blog post, that my guitar is in one piece (albeit with a cracked soundboard). I’m thankful to the lady who got out and stuck around, though your name did not stick with me, sorry. I’m thankful for the two fellows who helped me lift the bike up and roll it out of the way so traffic could get moving again. I’m thankful to the Cincinnati police, fire and ambulance lads who all arrived lickity split to make sure I was okay. I’m thankful for all the great smiling faces and silly senses of humour at The University Hospital ER who reminded me very much of St. John’s.
I can’t really say for sure that the trip is ruined. But it will be a lot different than planned. Certainly with far less guitar playing or motorcycle riding than I was counting on. It’ll take a week or so to get a handle on how little of those activities there will actually be. I was reminded on the phone by a friend a couple hours ago that I will just have to spend the first month focused on lyrics, not music, and on meeting people rather than playing open stages. And those are not bad things. At the moment, I'm still feeling sad but, like I said, it could be worse.
So, I’m temporarily stranded in Cincinnati. I’ll go see the bike at the garage in the morning. Please say a prayer or cross your fingers or send light or however you like to describe your sending of hopeful vibes. Monday is a holiday in Canada, so I likely won’t hear back from my insurance company until Tuesday. Not sure if I’ll stay here or head to Nashville somehow and deal with the bike later. Will think more about that tomorrow.
But now I must get some sleep in a not-so-fancy bed at this hotel, which I take thankfully instead of the fancier one at the hospital.
Then, about 5 minutes after taking the jacket off, I wiped out. I kid you not. Five minutes, tops. Were the powers that be saying, “Son, best not take that on-ramp.”?
It was on a wet bridge, construction zone, tight traffic. The truck in front of me jammed on its brakes. I put mine on and tried to steer it away to one side. But I fishtailed on the wet road and went flying off the bike. Exact sequence of events is a bit foggy, but I heard the bike scraping as [I think] I was in the air. What a mournful, horrible sound. My poor baby. Then I noticed vibrations and a similar deep grinding noise amplified all around my head. Noticed a very extreme close-up 3D-ish kind of concrete looking surface scraping at the other side of my visor. Hmm, oh, I guess that’s the road. My left hand was out, palm down hard on the road – still handily wrapped in its leather motorcycle glove. Luckily, I hadn't thrown all caution to the wind... My right arm skidded along on the very fashionable but leatherless forearm before buckling under, thankfully without any wonky twists or snaps. Just some good ol’ fashioned road rash.
When I came to a stop, I just lay there for a few minutes, kind of absorbing the pain in my left wrist and holding onto it with my other hand. There was also a bit of a process rolling through my head, going through what parts hurt and what parts didn’t. What parts moved, what parts didn’t. I was extremely happy when that last list came up empty. Then I noticed a woman’s voice off in the distance. I wear earplugs for the wind noise, so she sounded farther away… she was kneeling right beside my head, talking to me in between sentences to her cell phone. Uh-oh. That’s when I really realized what had happened. I mean, I never lost consciousness but, you know, sometimes when things happen fast, you just need a few seconds to put the whole picture together. In this case, the picture was me lying in the road with a lady calling 911. Awesome.
It took me a couple of tries to sit up straight. My wrist was throbbing like an sob and then all I could think about was that I can't ride my motorcycle and I can’t play guitar, that the whole summer trip is ruined.
But of course it could have been much worse.
So… I am thankful that I am not dead, even more so that I am not maimed or broken, that my x-rays were negative, that my right arm is just scraped and quite able to do most of the work on this blog post, that my guitar is in one piece (albeit with a cracked soundboard). I’m thankful to the lady who got out and stuck around, though your name did not stick with me, sorry. I’m thankful for the two fellows who helped me lift the bike up and roll it out of the way so traffic could get moving again. I’m thankful to the Cincinnati police, fire and ambulance lads who all arrived lickity split to make sure I was okay. I’m thankful for all the great smiling faces and silly senses of humour at The University Hospital ER who reminded me very much of St. John’s.
I can’t really say for sure that the trip is ruined. But it will be a lot different than planned. Certainly with far less guitar playing or motorcycle riding than I was counting on. It’ll take a week or so to get a handle on how little of those activities there will actually be. I was reminded on the phone by a friend a couple hours ago that I will just have to spend the first month focused on lyrics, not music, and on meeting people rather than playing open stages. And those are not bad things. At the moment, I'm still feeling sad but, like I said, it could be worse.
So, I’m temporarily stranded in Cincinnati. I’ll go see the bike at the garage in the morning. Please say a prayer or cross your fingers or send light or however you like to describe your sending of hopeful vibes. Monday is a holiday in Canada, so I likely won’t hear back from my insurance company until Tuesday. Not sure if I’ll stay here or head to Nashville somehow and deal with the bike later. Will think more about that tomorrow.
But now I must get some sleep in a not-so-fancy bed at this hotel, which I take thankfully instead of the fancier one at the hospital.
Wednesday 30 May 2012
Two bees are better than one
Last week was Tin Pan North, the annual fund-raising festival for NSAI’s Toronto chapter. There are two sets of music a night for three nights at three bars, featuring four writers each in the round. Three of the writers in each round/set are local small fish like me, and one is a bigger fish, either a Canadian or Nashville pro. I played an early show on Thursday. There was a small audience but they were very attentive, which honestly is way better than a big crowd talking amongst themselves in a small bar.
One cool thing about Tin Pan North is that NSAI members have the opportunity for a small fee to sit down with one of the Nashville pros for song reviews. I Googled the writers who were available and very quickly settled on Rob Crosby. I didn’t know of him before that, but it turns out that I did know some of his songs, one of which is Friday Night by Lady Antebellum.
So I took Friday morning off work and, with laptop, lyrics and guitar in hand, headed off to meet Rob.
Editing with Rob Crosby
What a great guy. Super friendly, easy going and really lyrically insightful.
We chatted for a little while and then took a couple listens to the first song. We ended up spending about 45 minutes on it! We took a lot of time discussing the subtle differences between various words, how they worked together, etc, moved the whole message along from beginning to end. We ended up changing 23 out of 198 words.
It was really exhilarating and confidence-building to be sitting there across the table from a veteran hit writer, sipping coffee, me strumming his guitar while he sang, and bouncing ideas back and forth.
One thing I’ve learned about critiquing creative work, whether it’s me giving feedback on other people’s songs or marketing stuff at my day job, or having my own work critiqued, is this: supposing the critic is experienced and insightful, the more specific and narrow their feedback, the better the material was in the first place; and the more general and vague the feedback, the rougher the material was.
So I left the meeting with Rob feeling pretty stoked and happy. And, to be honest, I’d been needing a lift after the last month of so of rocky terrain.
We finished up that song, stretched our legs and took a quick run through a second song. I was all set to leave because the allotted time was up, but Rob was gung-ho on listening to something else. See… great guy.
So I think that was the closest I’d come to co-writing since I wrote lyrics for another fella’s music back in high school.
I went to hear Rob's set that night. One of my favourites was "She's More" which was originally recorded by Andy Griggs and, I believe, later covered by Keith Urban. I just listened to Andy's version and Rob's was a bit more upbeat and I liked it better! :-)
Writing with Emily Hurson
Strangely enough, I had my first co-writing session planned for the coming Sunday afternoon. A friend introduced me to Emily a few months ago. She’s a local actor and writer and I knew she sang too. So I asked her if she’d like to take a crack at writing together and she was all for it.
I was a bit late crawling out of bed Sunday because I was out late with Alex watching the hottest, tightest most fun funk band in the country (possibly the world!): Five Alarm Funk.
Over coffee, I thumbed through my notebook looking for ideas to share with Emily. I came across a line I had back in March. Ideas started flowing and I had the song finished before lunch. It’s a really upbeat, positive love song that I’m really happy with. Have edited it a bit since and will probably fuss with a few more words before it’s “finished.” Obviously it didn't end up as co-write material, but at least I knew I was in a good creative space for our meeting.
So Emily showed up and pulled out her notes. She read some lyric starters she had for a city-mouse-country-mouse sort of theme. There was one word in there that I thought had a whole other concept to offer. So we batted that around for a while, just lyrics, hadn’t gotten into music yet.
Then I asked her what key was good for her. She didn’t care, so I said sing any old random note. She gave me a big fat laaaa which turned out to be an A. So I fiddled around and came up with a melody in A. Now, this is the really interesting part. It’s hard to explain why exactly I know this, but I know without a doubt that I never would have written a melody anything like it if I was sitting alone in that room. There was just something about the flavour that was new for me. So I told Emily that and she said “yeah, hive mentality” as in collective consciousness.
Very cool indeed. We were off to a good start.
So that melody got Emily rolling with some vocal embellishments and we started filling in a few words here and there. Turns out she writes a lot like I do, humming and singing gibberish until words begin to form. The tune seems to have a young, upbeat vibe. Makes me think of Taylor Swift. And the subject we arrived on had nothing in the slightest to do with the city-country idea we started with, or the second one that fell out of that.
We wrote the chorus and I recorded some music for Emily to work on verses with this week. We’ll get together again this Sunday. Looking forward to it.
Buzz buzz.
One cool thing about Tin Pan North is that NSAI members have the opportunity for a small fee to sit down with one of the Nashville pros for song reviews. I Googled the writers who were available and very quickly settled on Rob Crosby. I didn’t know of him before that, but it turns out that I did know some of his songs, one of which is Friday Night by Lady Antebellum.
So I took Friday morning off work and, with laptop, lyrics and guitar in hand, headed off to meet Rob.
Editing with Rob Crosby
What a great guy. Super friendly, easy going and really lyrically insightful.
We chatted for a little while and then took a couple listens to the first song. We ended up spending about 45 minutes on it! We took a lot of time discussing the subtle differences between various words, how they worked together, etc, moved the whole message along from beginning to end. We ended up changing 23 out of 198 words.
It was really exhilarating and confidence-building to be sitting there across the table from a veteran hit writer, sipping coffee, me strumming his guitar while he sang, and bouncing ideas back and forth.
One thing I’ve learned about critiquing creative work, whether it’s me giving feedback on other people’s songs or marketing stuff at my day job, or having my own work critiqued, is this: supposing the critic is experienced and insightful, the more specific and narrow their feedback, the better the material was in the first place; and the more general and vague the feedback, the rougher the material was.
So I left the meeting with Rob feeling pretty stoked and happy. And, to be honest, I’d been needing a lift after the last month of so of rocky terrain.
We finished up that song, stretched our legs and took a quick run through a second song. I was all set to leave because the allotted time was up, but Rob was gung-ho on listening to something else. See… great guy.
So I think that was the closest I’d come to co-writing since I wrote lyrics for another fella’s music back in high school.
I went to hear Rob's set that night. One of my favourites was "She's More" which was originally recorded by Andy Griggs and, I believe, later covered by Keith Urban. I just listened to Andy's version and Rob's was a bit more upbeat and I liked it better! :-)
Writing with Emily Hurson
Strangely enough, I had my first co-writing session planned for the coming Sunday afternoon. A friend introduced me to Emily a few months ago. She’s a local actor and writer and I knew she sang too. So I asked her if she’d like to take a crack at writing together and she was all for it.
I was a bit late crawling out of bed Sunday because I was out late with Alex watching the hottest, tightest most fun funk band in the country (possibly the world!): Five Alarm Funk.
Over coffee, I thumbed through my notebook looking for ideas to share with Emily. I came across a line I had back in March. Ideas started flowing and I had the song finished before lunch. It’s a really upbeat, positive love song that I’m really happy with. Have edited it a bit since and will probably fuss with a few more words before it’s “finished.” Obviously it didn't end up as co-write material, but at least I knew I was in a good creative space for our meeting.
So Emily showed up and pulled out her notes. She read some lyric starters she had for a city-mouse-country-mouse sort of theme. There was one word in there that I thought had a whole other concept to offer. So we batted that around for a while, just lyrics, hadn’t gotten into music yet.
Then I asked her what key was good for her. She didn’t care, so I said sing any old random note. She gave me a big fat laaaa which turned out to be an A. So I fiddled around and came up with a melody in A. Now, this is the really interesting part. It’s hard to explain why exactly I know this, but I know without a doubt that I never would have written a melody anything like it if I was sitting alone in that room. There was just something about the flavour that was new for me. So I told Emily that and she said “yeah, hive mentality” as in collective consciousness.
Very cool indeed. We were off to a good start.
So that melody got Emily rolling with some vocal embellishments and we started filling in a few words here and there. Turns out she writes a lot like I do, humming and singing gibberish until words begin to form. The tune seems to have a young, upbeat vibe. Makes me think of Taylor Swift. And the subject we arrived on had nothing in the slightest to do with the city-country idea we started with, or the second one that fell out of that.
We wrote the chorus and I recorded some music for Emily to work on verses with this week. We’ll get together again this Sunday. Looking forward to it.
Buzz buzz.
Monday 6 February 2012
Pluggin' away...
I've been agonizing and struggling with lyric revisions lately. On Thursday or Friday night I was staring at a haystack of scribbles in my notebook and feeling stuck like a two-wheeler with bald tires on wet grass. So I thought, there's no need to be stressing over this. Why aren't you having fun with it? Leave the edits alone for a while and write something fun. Who cares how it turns out. As I glanced around wondering what I could write about, it wasn't long before I saw a whiskey glass (probably because I was reaching for it). Now there's a novel idea: a country song about whiskey. ;-)
It may not win a Grammy or CMA, but it's a neat little song with lots of catchy bits and a nice concept running through it. Something came to mind and I just went with it. No expectations = no handcuffs. And it didn't take long at all -- did a rough demo of it on the weekend. I may go back and try for a quick little bridge, but I've got 3 cool verses and a catchy chorus. And the chorus melody is something I never would have dreamt of in a million years if I was "seriously" trying to write a song.
It's the second full song I've written since getting home from the Nashville trip. The other is a love song about two characters at the Bluebird Cafe. I submitted it a week or so ago to NSAI for one of their online song evaluations. You upload your lyrics and an MP3, choose an evaluator (based on bios listing styles they write, experience, cuts, etc) from a list of 4 or 5 available, fill in a short form with any specific questions you have in mind, etc. And, a few days later, you get a review of the song. I've had 4 or 5 songs evaluated by 2 people this way and they've both been fairly detailed and really helpful.
Another thing that's been helpful these past several weeks is having somebody to regularly bounce ideas off of. My friend Paula in Nashville's been giving some great straight-up feedback about the lyrics. I've found that when you ask most friends, even other musicians, what they think of a new song, they usually say something polite or at best skim the surface. So it's nice having someone who understands that I want to pick things apart, who actually reads through every word and ponders them all. Then, if she comes back questioning something, it usually means I've got some editing to do!
So, I'm happy to report that the new love song got a really solid review. Everything was really positive, about how I developed the story, had a creative title, nice melody, etc. I was tickled pink. There were two criticisms:
1) At 4:43, it was waaaaaay too long for commercial radio. I knew this going in, but I guess I just needed someone more experienced to confirm it, plus I thought that some feedback would help me focus the edit. The evaluator tucked a great quote from Mark Twain into his review: I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."
2) The last line of the chorus wasn't standing up so strong as a hook. Here's what he said:
"You do well to keep the hook rolling throughout the song in each of the pre-choruses, which is actually a cool idea. But you never really hit the hook very hard in the chorus (as in there's no "Aha!" moment that gives the listener chills) but it sounds pretty as it's sung."
I liked that the evaluator didn't suggest any edits. He just gave me a goal of 3:30 total or 4:00 worst case. So I went back and re-read the lyrics.
My structure was Verse, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Chorus.
I absolutely loved the first two verses and how they set up these two characters and how they interacted with each other. So I didn't want to edit there. But the problem with them was that as 60 seconds rolled by, I still had 2 lines left to sing before getting into the first chorus. This was breaking one of Murphy's Laws for sure.
So I broke them up with a chorus: V C V C...
I'd been uneasy about the 3rd verse and bridge before I submitted the song to NSAI, so that's where I looked for the big edit opportunity. Paula pointed out that it seemed like I was trying to tie it up in a pretty little bow, jamming a definite conclusion that didn't feel natural or realistic. It was trying to be too pretty, too perfect. So I started editing. As I got into it, pulling apart what each line was saying versus what it could be saying, I realized that V3 and B were saying a lot of the same things, just in different words. That gave me a great way to chop a lot of time off. I boiled all of that down into a new bridge that's more realistic and believable. Pretty bow in the trash. And I cut 42 seconds right there! Mark Twain would approve. At 4:01, I was now comfortable with the length.
With the 3rd verse absorbed by a new and improved bridge, the new structure is V C V C B C.
Next, I set out to tackle the hook in the last line of the chorus. I'd really liked the words and the way they flowed, but I knew what he meant about it lacking a certain 'aha' factor. So I homed in on the sound of the key word in the title/hook and played around with rhymes for it without changing the meter/phrasing at all. It wasn't long before I had a new line that was a HUGE improvement and really summed up a lot of the characters' emotions. I was stoked.
I know it's difficult to really get into the crux of the matter when I don't give specific lyrics. I'm sorry. I just don't want to give too much away here. After all... I am working toward pitching these songs to artists! I felt a bit strange about that until I watched an episode of Man vs Row by Brent Baxter about recording demos. He let you see and hear just enough to give you a feel for what goes on in those sessions, but didn't let you hear anything telling about the song itself! Okay, I feel better now.
So, back to editing... I had four songs reviewed when I was in Nashville. I told you about the range of really helpful feedback I got at the time. I've since finished editing 2 of the 4 songs.
One of them was really difficult because the original lyrics were really close to home for me, with emotional ties and symbolism about my family and growing up at our house in St. John's. As such, I could see that a lot of the lines were a bit esoteric/cryptic and not straightforward. So I set out to re-invent the story being told. Let me tell ya, it was tough -- the original lines were [still are!] etched in my head. But I plugged away at it over 3 or 4 rounds of edits, including several whole new verses and bridges, and I think I've nailed it! So happy with it. It still holds true to the original sentiment about family love and loyalty, but there's a much more vivid and understandable story and characters now. I'm very excited about it!
The other song was much less work, just a few lines changed here and there. But I think there's more work to be done on it yet. I've always had a strange feeling about the chorus. I didn't get any negative feedback on it in Nashville, but this process is teaching me to listen to and trust my gut more. So I'm pretty sure there's a better chorus in me for this one. I love the idea in the words, I just don't like the way it's delivered. So we'll have to see what happens there.
The other two songs both need a fair bit of work. I haven't really rolled up my sleeves on either of them, but I've poked and prodded them enough to know that I'll most likely only be keeping their choruses, which are quite strong. It's those pesky verses, characters, stories... So there's a lot of work to do. I was working on one of these last week when I started feeling overwhelmed and decided to write that fun song about whiskey.
Let's see if I can take something from that "fun" little song into editing those other two "serious" songs.
It may not win a Grammy or CMA, but it's a neat little song with lots of catchy bits and a nice concept running through it. Something came to mind and I just went with it. No expectations = no handcuffs. And it didn't take long at all -- did a rough demo of it on the weekend. I may go back and try for a quick little bridge, but I've got 3 cool verses and a catchy chorus. And the chorus melody is something I never would have dreamt of in a million years if I was "seriously" trying to write a song.
It's the second full song I've written since getting home from the Nashville trip. The other is a love song about two characters at the Bluebird Cafe. I submitted it a week or so ago to NSAI for one of their online song evaluations. You upload your lyrics and an MP3, choose an evaluator (based on bios listing styles they write, experience, cuts, etc) from a list of 4 or 5 available, fill in a short form with any specific questions you have in mind, etc. And, a few days later, you get a review of the song. I've had 4 or 5 songs evaluated by 2 people this way and they've both been fairly detailed and really helpful.
Another thing that's been helpful these past several weeks is having somebody to regularly bounce ideas off of. My friend Paula in Nashville's been giving some great straight-up feedback about the lyrics. I've found that when you ask most friends, even other musicians, what they think of a new song, they usually say something polite or at best skim the surface. So it's nice having someone who understands that I want to pick things apart, who actually reads through every word and ponders them all. Then, if she comes back questioning something, it usually means I've got some editing to do!
So, I'm happy to report that the new love song got a really solid review. Everything was really positive, about how I developed the story, had a creative title, nice melody, etc. I was tickled pink. There were two criticisms:
1) At 4:43, it was waaaaaay too long for commercial radio. I knew this going in, but I guess I just needed someone more experienced to confirm it, plus I thought that some feedback would help me focus the edit. The evaluator tucked a great quote from Mark Twain into his review: I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."
2) The last line of the chorus wasn't standing up so strong as a hook. Here's what he said:
I liked that the evaluator didn't suggest any edits. He just gave me a goal of 3:30 total or 4:00 worst case. So I went back and re-read the lyrics.
My structure was Verse, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Chorus.
I absolutely loved the first two verses and how they set up these two characters and how they interacted with each other. So I didn't want to edit there. But the problem with them was that as 60 seconds rolled by, I still had 2 lines left to sing before getting into the first chorus. This was breaking one of Murphy's Laws for sure.
So I broke them up with a chorus: V C V C...
I'd been uneasy about the 3rd verse and bridge before I submitted the song to NSAI, so that's where I looked for the big edit opportunity. Paula pointed out that it seemed like I was trying to tie it up in a pretty little bow, jamming a definite conclusion that didn't feel natural or realistic. It was trying to be too pretty, too perfect. So I started editing. As I got into it, pulling apart what each line was saying versus what it could be saying, I realized that V3 and B were saying a lot of the same things, just in different words. That gave me a great way to chop a lot of time off. I boiled all of that down into a new bridge that's more realistic and believable. Pretty bow in the trash. And I cut 42 seconds right there! Mark Twain would approve. At 4:01, I was now comfortable with the length.
With the 3rd verse absorbed by a new and improved bridge, the new structure is V C V C B C.
Next, I set out to tackle the hook in the last line of the chorus. I'd really liked the words and the way they flowed, but I knew what he meant about it lacking a certain 'aha' factor. So I homed in on the sound of the key word in the title/hook and played around with rhymes for it without changing the meter/phrasing at all. It wasn't long before I had a new line that was a HUGE improvement and really summed up a lot of the characters' emotions. I was stoked.
I know it's difficult to really get into the crux of the matter when I don't give specific lyrics. I'm sorry. I just don't want to give too much away here. After all... I am working toward pitching these songs to artists! I felt a bit strange about that until I watched an episode of Man vs Row by Brent Baxter about recording demos. He let you see and hear just enough to give you a feel for what goes on in those sessions, but didn't let you hear anything telling about the song itself! Okay, I feel better now.
So, back to editing... I had four songs reviewed when I was in Nashville. I told you about the range of really helpful feedback I got at the time. I've since finished editing 2 of the 4 songs.
One of them was really difficult because the original lyrics were really close to home for me, with emotional ties and symbolism about my family and growing up at our house in St. John's. As such, I could see that a lot of the lines were a bit esoteric/cryptic and not straightforward. So I set out to re-invent the story being told. Let me tell ya, it was tough -- the original lines were [still are!] etched in my head. But I plugged away at it over 3 or 4 rounds of edits, including several whole new verses and bridges, and I think I've nailed it! So happy with it. It still holds true to the original sentiment about family love and loyalty, but there's a much more vivid and understandable story and characters now. I'm very excited about it!
The other song was much less work, just a few lines changed here and there. But I think there's more work to be done on it yet. I've always had a strange feeling about the chorus. I didn't get any negative feedback on it in Nashville, but this process is teaching me to listen to and trust my gut more. So I'm pretty sure there's a better chorus in me for this one. I love the idea in the words, I just don't like the way it's delivered. So we'll have to see what happens there.
The other two songs both need a fair bit of work. I haven't really rolled up my sleeves on either of them, but I've poked and prodded them enough to know that I'll most likely only be keeping their choruses, which are quite strong. It's those pesky verses, characters, stories... So there's a lot of work to do. I was working on one of these last week when I started feeling overwhelmed and decided to write that fun song about whiskey.
Let's see if I can take something from that "fun" little song into editing those other two "serious" songs.
Monday 23 January 2012
What happened in Nashville?
Where does the time go? I’ve been back in Toronto for six weeks after Nashville Trip Numero Uno and have clearly not held up my end of the blog bargain. High time for some catch-up.
You already know about Sunday and Monday, so moving right along…
Tuesday morning
I had a great meeting with the SOCAN rep. We sat around in a café and had a nice long talk about Nashville, what I wanted to do, and how that fit in with how things generally worked there. It was a great orientation session; I got to ask questions and soak up some wisdom and enjoy the nice warm welcome to Music City from a guy who’s had just a wee bit of success in the business, in Toronto, New York and Los Angeles. Very cool experience indeed.
We didn’t listen to any songs, but I left him with a CD. He complimented my song titles, which he said were really an important part of the puzzle that a lot of unknown writers don’t pay enough attention to. He said I had some really unique and creative ones that made him curious about the songs, which he said was half the battle right there if your CD’s sitting on the desk of someone who’s looking for a song.
We talked about a lot of the things I’ve rambled about in other posts, so there’s no need to get too deep into it here. But one really cool thing he said in the end was “Sure, there’s a certain way things work here, but there’s also room to move within them. Whatever’s different about you and your writing can be an advantage. Don’t think about what you can’t bring that Nashville has. Think about what you do bring that Nashville doesn’t have.” Well, that’s about as close as I can get to a perfect quote after all these weeks, but certainly a good perspective.
Tuesday afternoon
My meeting at ASCAP was a bit of a train wreck. We started out getting acquainted, he asked where I was from and what I wanted to do, etc. Nice, friendly guy. Tons of experience and success in various genres as a writer and producer in Canada, the US and UK. After a while, he said, “Okay, let me hear what you’ve got.”
I handed him the CD and he popped it into his stereo. Nothing. Tried the computer. Nothing.
“No problem,” I said. “I’ve got it all on my website for times just like this.” “Great,” he said and gave me the helm. But I’m a bit frazzled and can’t remember the password to the secure page on my website with all the demos! In between sweated bullets, I manage to find the password in my email and get the song rolling before long. It felt like a lifetime.
I few bars into the song, I notice his foot tapping and that he’s grooving to the beat. Phew.
“Got a lyric sheet?” he asked. Of course not. Why would I have a lyric sheet? It’s only common sense. Truth is that I did print lyric sheets, and they were sitting perfectly safe and sound back on the table at SOCAN House. Very smrt.
Luckily I’ve got lyric sheets on my website too! Ten seconds later he’s reading along.
“Ok, make it stop.”
Now, that is a phrase I think I’d be more comfortable hearing in bed with a woman than while having a song reviewed in Nashville.
Then the schoolin’ began. In the moment, it felt like he was tearing the song to shreds but, looking back, it wasn’t really all that bad. He had two key criticisms:
1. The vocal wasn’t clear enough for a demo. “You’ve got to articulate so every word is understood.” Between my accent and vocal style, he couldn’t make out the words. In hindsight, I think we also overproduced the music which also made it harder to hear the vocal. This may sound like a little thing but, if you're pitching a song and the song can't be heard, 'tis a rather large obstacle.
2. “You started with the 2nd verse. I see it all the time. You can’t assume the listener knows what you know. You have to explain everything.”
He went into more details and made similar comments about the second song. We never played a third. Instead I got a condensed version of his blog and book about how to write a hit song. After all, that's the business he's in – finding and promoting #1 singles. He’s not looking for a lovely track #9. So I took plenty of notes.
Then he sent me on my way with a pat on the back, some compliments about structure and melody to ease the sting, and an invite to show him new songs in six months.
Lone survivor miraculously walks away from train wreck.
Tuesday evening
Open mic at Douglas Corner. The night is organized in rounds. Each set had four writers on stage together taking turns playing songs until everybody’s played two.
Number 26 again! Same as at the Bluebird. Can you believe it? My Bluebird friend Paula was kind enough to keep me company again, and I chat a bit off and on with Will, the writer at the next table.
Wednesday morning
Off to the Nashville Songwriters Association office for my first of two song-evaluation meetings. The evaluator, like everyone else so far in this town, was amazingly warm and friendly. She has over three decades of radio experience under her belt, in everything from DJing to regional program direction. She knows what makes for popular songs.
We reviewed four songs and the feedback was amazing. It was the first time I sat down with someone and really picked apart my lyrics. It reminded me of a creative prose course I took in university.
Two of the songs we reviewed were the ones from my train wreck the day before. But today’s work-shopping approach quickly put the ASCAP criticism in context. The songs didn’t have to be abandoned, they just needed some focused editing here and there.
This session also reminded me of something I’d read in preparing for the trip: that you’re going to get a lot of different feedback about each song, so you have to take it all in and considering everything… and then decide what to do.
Here’s an example of the kind of feedback that I got in this session:
One song is a male-female duet where the couple is relating how they sometimes fight but always realize how precious they are to each other and then make up. A pretty simple notion, I thought, but the idea of the conflict wasn’t coming across clearly. To an objective listener, it seemed like the information about “the fight” came from out of the blue in the bridge and didn’t seem to naturally follow everything that had been said so far in the song. This is what the ASCAP fellow called “writer’s assumption.”
We also talked about some specific word choices here and there. Overall, she really liked the melody and most of the lyrics. The story just needed to be shaped a bit more. This was the song with the unclear vocal from the day before, so I asked about that. She said she understood the lyrics easily enough and thought she would have even without a lyric sheet (I remembered to bring them to this meeting!), although it was hard to say for sure. She did say that the production of the song really wasn’t necessary and, even if I wanted to keep it as a full band demo, there was no need to keep the guitar solo. That was purely a matter of artistic performance and added no value to the song as a writer’s demo.
We reviewed three other songs in similar detail. One appeared to need about the same amount of work and the other two just needed little tweaks. I learned that a few phrases I used would never be used in southern speech and were therefore stumbling blocks for a Nashville publishing audience. I would never have known this talking to people back in Toronto. This lead into a discussion about the value of co-writing, particularly the possibility of finding a local writer who would instinctively know things like that.
Overall, I got a much better review than I’d expected. If yesterday was a train wreck, then today was just a pause at the railway crossing.
Wednesday night
One of my SOCAN House hosts was playing in a pro round at Douglas Corner, so they invited me to join them for the show.
Daryl Burgess and AJ Masters were the main writers for the night and played in both of the evening’s rounds. Two other pairs of younger writers took stools 2 and 4 for each round, though I didn’t make a note of their names at the time, sorry.
What great songs! All night. Amazing.
Thursday
My second NSAI meet was with a fella who's had several cuts and top ten hits. We talked for a half hour or more before turning on a song. Lots of great insight and things to consider. Co-writing was a big one. For instance, this guy only writes lyrics. He said he doesn't even think about the music side of it. Turns out most songs in Nashville are co-writes between at least two people, sometimes three or more people.
So we managed to squeeze two songs in and holy cow, the things he instantly sees in a lyric. We talked about things like tone, plot, narrator… again, like a creative writing course, though with broader strokes than the day before.
As I was leaving, I bumped into Will from the night before at Douglas Corner and he told me about an open mic at Fiddle & Steel.
I spent the afternoon working on some edits, met Paula for a bite to eat and then it was off to Fiddle & Steel. This wasn’t so much a writer’s night as it was no holds barred open mic. So there was a mix of originals and covers and even a bit of celtic fiddling. One fella was an amazing writer. I wish I could remember his name now… it may be in my journal… I’ll have a look-see and post later if I find it. I think he was from Texas.
It’s been a while since I was in a bar with smoking. When I got home, I smelled like cigarettes and beer, which got me thinking on a song… so I burned the midnight oil on that.
Friday
Spent a couple hours finishing off the new song and recording a rough demo. Then went off in search of breakfast and had a relaxing stroll downtown.
Got an email from the SOCAN rep saying he really liked two of the songs I gave him and that, while the could use some tightening up, he thought they were strong enough that he’d try to set me up with a more experienced local co-writer! Awesome.
That night, I was just a hair too late to sign up for the Commodore’s writer’s night, but I stuck around for the show. I think they’ve got one every night of the week, so I’ll be playing there next visit for sure.
Saturday
I spent the afternoon with Will and his buddy Rocky. We played at Broaster’s Chicken (there are writers rounds everywhere in this town!) and Ri’chard’s and, in between, we hung out at Rocky’s jamming and shootin’ the breeze.
After saying so-long to the boys, it was back to the Bluebird in hope of catching the feature act. I had no idea who it was, but I knew it would be good. And boy was it ever. Skip Ewing with Barry Walsh on piano and Vinnie Santoro on drums. There were only a few tickets left at the door and the fine folks at the BB managed to squeeze me in and find a chair – right next to Skip! He had a video crew there, so I'm in a lot of the shots, trying to blend into the background.
They played one of the most beautiful songs ever: Something That We Do. Skip co-wrote it with Clint Black and, while Clint obviously recorded a great version of it, there was something magical about the way Skip played it at the Bluebird this particular night. There were tears in my eyes.
And that was my last day in Nashville. Sunday, I was on a plane back to YYZ.
So... what the heck have I been up to since? I promise it won’t take nearly so long to fill you in on that.
Cheers,
ML
You already know about Sunday and Monday, so moving right along…
Tuesday morning
I had a great meeting with the SOCAN rep. We sat around in a café and had a nice long talk about Nashville, what I wanted to do, and how that fit in with how things generally worked there. It was a great orientation session; I got to ask questions and soak up some wisdom and enjoy the nice warm welcome to Music City from a guy who’s had just a wee bit of success in the business, in Toronto, New York and Los Angeles. Very cool experience indeed.
We didn’t listen to any songs, but I left him with a CD. He complimented my song titles, which he said were really an important part of the puzzle that a lot of unknown writers don’t pay enough attention to. He said I had some really unique and creative ones that made him curious about the songs, which he said was half the battle right there if your CD’s sitting on the desk of someone who’s looking for a song.
We talked about a lot of the things I’ve rambled about in other posts, so there’s no need to get too deep into it here. But one really cool thing he said in the end was “Sure, there’s a certain way things work here, but there’s also room to move within them. Whatever’s different about you and your writing can be an advantage. Don’t think about what you can’t bring that Nashville has. Think about what you do bring that Nashville doesn’t have.” Well, that’s about as close as I can get to a perfect quote after all these weeks, but certainly a good perspective.
Tuesday afternoon
My meeting at ASCAP was a bit of a train wreck. We started out getting acquainted, he asked where I was from and what I wanted to do, etc. Nice, friendly guy. Tons of experience and success in various genres as a writer and producer in Canada, the US and UK. After a while, he said, “Okay, let me hear what you’ve got.”
I handed him the CD and he popped it into his stereo. Nothing. Tried the computer. Nothing.
“No problem,” I said. “I’ve got it all on my website for times just like this.” “Great,” he said and gave me the helm. But I’m a bit frazzled and can’t remember the password to the secure page on my website with all the demos! In between sweated bullets, I manage to find the password in my email and get the song rolling before long. It felt like a lifetime.
I few bars into the song, I notice his foot tapping and that he’s grooving to the beat. Phew.
“Got a lyric sheet?” he asked. Of course not. Why would I have a lyric sheet? It’s only common sense. Truth is that I did print lyric sheets, and they were sitting perfectly safe and sound back on the table at SOCAN House. Very smrt.
Luckily I’ve got lyric sheets on my website too! Ten seconds later he’s reading along.
“Ok, make it stop.”
Now, that is a phrase I think I’d be more comfortable hearing in bed with a woman than while having a song reviewed in Nashville.
Then the schoolin’ began. In the moment, it felt like he was tearing the song to shreds but, looking back, it wasn’t really all that bad. He had two key criticisms:
1. The vocal wasn’t clear enough for a demo. “You’ve got to articulate so every word is understood.” Between my accent and vocal style, he couldn’t make out the words. In hindsight, I think we also overproduced the music which also made it harder to hear the vocal. This may sound like a little thing but, if you're pitching a song and the song can't be heard, 'tis a rather large obstacle.
2. “You started with the 2nd verse. I see it all the time. You can’t assume the listener knows what you know. You have to explain everything.”
He went into more details and made similar comments about the second song. We never played a third. Instead I got a condensed version of his blog and book about how to write a hit song. After all, that's the business he's in – finding and promoting #1 singles. He’s not looking for a lovely track #9. So I took plenty of notes.
Then he sent me on my way with a pat on the back, some compliments about structure and melody to ease the sting, and an invite to show him new songs in six months.
Lone survivor miraculously walks away from train wreck.
Tuesday evening
Open mic at Douglas Corner. The night is organized in rounds. Each set had four writers on stage together taking turns playing songs until everybody’s played two.
Number 26 again! Same as at the Bluebird. Can you believe it? My Bluebird friend Paula was kind enough to keep me company again, and I chat a bit off and on with Will, the writer at the next table.
Wednesday morning
Off to the Nashville Songwriters Association office for my first of two song-evaluation meetings. The evaluator, like everyone else so far in this town, was amazingly warm and friendly. She has over three decades of radio experience under her belt, in everything from DJing to regional program direction. She knows what makes for popular songs.
We reviewed four songs and the feedback was amazing. It was the first time I sat down with someone and really picked apart my lyrics. It reminded me of a creative prose course I took in university.
Two of the songs we reviewed were the ones from my train wreck the day before. But today’s work-shopping approach quickly put the ASCAP criticism in context. The songs didn’t have to be abandoned, they just needed some focused editing here and there.
This session also reminded me of something I’d read in preparing for the trip: that you’re going to get a lot of different feedback about each song, so you have to take it all in and considering everything… and then decide what to do.
Here’s an example of the kind of feedback that I got in this session:
One song is a male-female duet where the couple is relating how they sometimes fight but always realize how precious they are to each other and then make up. A pretty simple notion, I thought, but the idea of the conflict wasn’t coming across clearly. To an objective listener, it seemed like the information about “the fight” came from out of the blue in the bridge and didn’t seem to naturally follow everything that had been said so far in the song. This is what the ASCAP fellow called “writer’s assumption.”
We also talked about some specific word choices here and there. Overall, she really liked the melody and most of the lyrics. The story just needed to be shaped a bit more. This was the song with the unclear vocal from the day before, so I asked about that. She said she understood the lyrics easily enough and thought she would have even without a lyric sheet (I remembered to bring them to this meeting!), although it was hard to say for sure. She did say that the production of the song really wasn’t necessary and, even if I wanted to keep it as a full band demo, there was no need to keep the guitar solo. That was purely a matter of artistic performance and added no value to the song as a writer’s demo.
We reviewed three other songs in similar detail. One appeared to need about the same amount of work and the other two just needed little tweaks. I learned that a few phrases I used would never be used in southern speech and were therefore stumbling blocks for a Nashville publishing audience. I would never have known this talking to people back in Toronto. This lead into a discussion about the value of co-writing, particularly the possibility of finding a local writer who would instinctively know things like that.
Overall, I got a much better review than I’d expected. If yesterday was a train wreck, then today was just a pause at the railway crossing.
Wednesday night
One of my SOCAN House hosts was playing in a pro round at Douglas Corner, so they invited me to join them for the show.
Daryl Burgess and AJ Masters were the main writers for the night and played in both of the evening’s rounds. Two other pairs of younger writers took stools 2 and 4 for each round, though I didn’t make a note of their names at the time, sorry.
What great songs! All night. Amazing.
Thursday
My second NSAI meet was with a fella who's had several cuts and top ten hits. We talked for a half hour or more before turning on a song. Lots of great insight and things to consider. Co-writing was a big one. For instance, this guy only writes lyrics. He said he doesn't even think about the music side of it. Turns out most songs in Nashville are co-writes between at least two people, sometimes three or more people.
So we managed to squeeze two songs in and holy cow, the things he instantly sees in a lyric. We talked about things like tone, plot, narrator… again, like a creative writing course, though with broader strokes than the day before.
As I was leaving, I bumped into Will from the night before at Douglas Corner and he told me about an open mic at Fiddle & Steel.
I spent the afternoon working on some edits, met Paula for a bite to eat and then it was off to Fiddle & Steel. This wasn’t so much a writer’s night as it was no holds barred open mic. So there was a mix of originals and covers and even a bit of celtic fiddling. One fella was an amazing writer. I wish I could remember his name now… it may be in my journal… I’ll have a look-see and post later if I find it. I think he was from Texas.
It’s been a while since I was in a bar with smoking. When I got home, I smelled like cigarettes and beer, which got me thinking on a song… so I burned the midnight oil on that.
Friday
Spent a couple hours finishing off the new song and recording a rough demo. Then went off in search of breakfast and had a relaxing stroll downtown.
Got an email from the SOCAN rep saying he really liked two of the songs I gave him and that, while the could use some tightening up, he thought they were strong enough that he’d try to set me up with a more experienced local co-writer! Awesome.
That night, I was just a hair too late to sign up for the Commodore’s writer’s night, but I stuck around for the show. I think they’ve got one every night of the week, so I’ll be playing there next visit for sure.
Saturday
I spent the afternoon with Will and his buddy Rocky. We played at Broaster’s Chicken (there are writers rounds everywhere in this town!) and Ri’chard’s and, in between, we hung out at Rocky’s jamming and shootin’ the breeze.
After saying so-long to the boys, it was back to the Bluebird in hope of catching the feature act. I had no idea who it was, but I knew it would be good. And boy was it ever. Skip Ewing with Barry Walsh on piano and Vinnie Santoro on drums. There were only a few tickets left at the door and the fine folks at the BB managed to squeeze me in and find a chair – right next to Skip! He had a video crew there, so I'm in a lot of the shots, trying to blend into the background.
They played one of the most beautiful songs ever: Something That We Do. Skip co-wrote it with Clint Black and, while Clint obviously recorded a great version of it, there was something magical about the way Skip played it at the Bluebird this particular night. There were tears in my eyes.
And that was my last day in Nashville. Sunday, I was on a plane back to YYZ.
So... what the heck have I been up to since? I promise it won’t take nearly so long to fill you in on that.
Cheers,
ML
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)