With all due respect to Messieurs Scaphoid and Radius—and though I eagerly await your return to the lineup—it was quite gratifying indeed.
Saturday 14 July 2012
Look ma, no hands
With all due respect to Messieurs Scaphoid and Radius—and though I eagerly await your return to the lineup—it was quite gratifying indeed.
Tuesday 10 July 2012
That's how I roll[ed]
Part of this summer's stay in Nashville was to be about writing songs and playing guitar. Another big part of it was to be weekends roaming around the georgeous winding Tennessee roads on my bike, about which I'm feeling a bit sad and nostalgic right now. I got a call from the appraiser today -- my baby is totaled. :-(
I put over 50,000 km on it in 5 seasons, and the appraiser said he was floored at the gerat condition it was in! Let's see... I've ridden to Sudbury, Lake Superior, North Bay, Montreal, Manitoulan Island, Kingston, New York, Ohio, Michigan, West Virginia, Indiana, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Muskoka, Algonquin and a zillion points in between. Met some great folks too.
Bye-bye baby. Ah, some fond memories...
 |
| Camping in the Adirondacks. Did some really nice roads around Lake Placid on this trip. Also went to NYC and visited my brother and his fiance on Long Island. |
 | |
| Riding the Tail Of The Dragon from Tennessee into North Carolina. What an amazing road. The first time I rode it was after a long day of delays coming from Knoxville. I pulled into the Deals Gap campsite late at night, very happy to be greeted by a few Harley boys offering me a cold beer at their picnic table. I said "Man, I don't know if I've got the nerve to ride the Dragon if it's any curvier that that." One fella said "Which way'd you come from?" I pointed up the hill and they all let out big laughs, "Son, you just rode the Dragon in the dark!" |
 | |
| Just a glimpse at the awesomeness of the Dragon on the GPS. You should see it zoomed in. Or, better yet, through a visor! |
 |
| With my old musical pal Jess in West Virginia. She and her man Dan were nice enough then to give me a bedroom and get me a set at the local music mecca. And after many years apart, she facebooked to offer help after the crash. Lovely people. |
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| My mom ready for her first ever motorcycle ride, the day I took it out of storage in April 2009. Oh what a chilly ride it was! She hopped off all giggly saying "Okay, I can see the appeal now." |
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| Tickled pink. I believe this is day 2 of riding the Dragon and other roads around the area in 2010. |
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| Last summer, fiddler Bourton Scott and I strapped our instruments and camping gear on our bikes for a zig-zag music tour around Ontario that accumulated far more miles than cover charges, tips or CD sales. But that was kind of the point, really. What a blast! |
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| Camping with dear friends Mike and Lauren somewhere in northeastern Ontario in October! Arrived late and freezing to be warmed up with a wicked roasted salmon supper and tunes around the campfire. Good times indeed. |
Sunday 8 July 2012
Pulling Granny from the flames
As I've mentioned before, one of the great things about being a member of NSAI is the song evaluation service by pro writers. You get 12 online and 2 in-person a year with the membership, and I'm pretty sure you can buy more if you want.
I don't want to give away any of the lyrics, but as an example of the kind of feedback you can get, here's an evaluation I got on July 2.
Evaluator feedback
FORM
SUGGESTIONS
TITLE/HOOK
LYRIC
OVERALL IDEA
MELODY/METER
CLOSING COMMENT
What I did with it
After a week of feeling pretty sad and rudderless following the motorcycle accident, on Saturday morning, I got my sorry ass out of bed and went to Bosco’s in Hillsboro village for lunch. There are 3 other café/brunch spots on the block but they all had insane line-ups. So I went to Boscos. And it turned out to be the perfect place for what I had in mind. It’s bigger and quieter that the other spots, so better for me to think straight. They don’t have any breaky grub, but they’ve got a wicked lunch menu.
I ordered the grilled chicken breast sandwich: soy and pineapple marinated chicken breast grilled and topped with fontina cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and basil mayonnaise. Then I pulled out the computer and opened a PDF of the song feedback and a Word doc of the lyrics.
The core idea behind the song is about looking forward to your dreams in a positive way – and I think I put a nice little lyrical spin on it in the hook. Still, I was a bit anxious about the hook/title when submitting the song, because it’s a bit a mellow and mushy. Also, there's a fine line to walk when putting a twist on a familiar phrase or notion. The hook worked for me, but I didn’t know how it would hold up under someone else's scrutiny.
So, I was really happy to read “It’s a good hook. I suggest you don’t give it away in the verse.” I had the hook lyric starting each verse as well as the start and end of the chorus. I was on the fence about that before I submitted it for evaluation, and I’d already been through two or three major re-writes of the song. Again an interesting example of pro feedback in line with a weird feeling I’d had in my gut. I need to stop second-guessing my gut. I keep telling myself that, but it seems I'm not always listening. The same could be said for situations outside writing... Thankfully, that's not what this blog is about!
VERSES
It was easy enough to edit the hook out of the verses, which were structured like this:
Hook line
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme B
Getting rid of the hook intro quickly shortened and evened things out. Before it was like each verse had a prologue, as if I was telegraphing a pass across center ice. Now I just get down to the business of sliding the puck ahead. I haven’t edited the demo yet, but each verse is 1 or 2 bars shorter, depending on the edit, and therefore 3-6 seconds shorter, depending on what comes before it (ie: intro vs chorus).
For the time being, I haven't cut from 2 to 1 verse at the beginning. Here’s my thinking so far on that: In the original, the prechorus started at 0:30 and the chorus at 0:42. The verses move much quicker now since the ‘prologue’ is out of the way and because the other lines are pretty short (7 syllables in lines 1-3 and 5 syllables in line 4). After the edits, the chorus will still start around 0:36. And I feel like V2 really adds a nice depth to the idea. So I kept it.
Next, I considered this comment: “Perhaps it would have more impact if you were more defined about who you are talking to. It could be your listeners, and that’s fine, but if you can put more of yourself in this, it would have more impact. You basically say the same kinds of things through out the song, so there’s room for different angles and other aspects of the subject…”
This was totally accurate. I had a bunch of nice ways of saying very similar things. So I needed to decide which said it best, then come up with something more to add. The ‘who’ was a bit tricky. In reality, when I wrote the song, I was pep talking myself, but also thinking of language that a couple of friends use for positive thinking and imagining them giving me the advice.
I ended up trashing V3 and V4, and writing a new V3 that adds another layer to the concept as well as suggesting a relationship between singer and listener.
I know, this is all really abstract without being able to read the lyrics. How about this: before, I had three verses that described fire engines. Now I’ve got verses that describe the fire engine, the guys on it, and the granny they pull from the flames.
CHORUS
The old chorus rhyme scheme was A A, B B, C C, but with the singing pauses in there, it actually sounds more like this:
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Climb-out rhyme C
Into hook rhyme C
Oy. That looks complex, and I know what the real lyrics are. So your head’s probably spinning! I took the advice to shorten and simplify. Now it looks more like this:
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Climb out rhyme B
Into hook rhyme B
Which is essentially a 4-line chorus instead of a 5-line chorus. What the heck was I thinking?
Not only did I delete lines, but I edited the ones that remained, so they do all the work of the old chorus, plus a nice extra nugget from an old verse that got cut.
BRIDGE
I took the existing melody of the instrumental break, combined it with some edited lines from old V4 and presto: bridge.
RECAP
Now the structure is this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / B / C
Instead of this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / INST / PRE / C
All the parts are shorter now, and they build on each other, instead of reiterating the same idea. Truck, firemen, granny instead of truck, truck, truck.
Something else interesting is that this is the first time in my 20 something years writing that I worked on lyrics without picking up a guitar to try them out. The guitar’s absence forced me to focus and be more efficient with my time. Of course, it was a bitter-sweet evolution, since the catalyst is the cast on my fret hand. But it was definitely a good lesson in editing and focus.
I tried playing guitar today. If I hold it like a cello, I can strum high on the neck like a vertical Johnny Cash and fret G and C. But even I don’t have a chord progression that simple. So the guitar wasn’t out of the case for very long.
But the song is stronger now, and that’s what matters for this post.
ML
I don't want to give away any of the lyrics, but as an example of the kind of feedback you can get, here's an evaluation I got on July 2.
Evaluator feedback
FORM
- V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / INST / PRE / C
SUGGESTIONS
- Edit down your chorus by 2 lines
- Only do 1 verse at the top of the song
- Don’t do the pre chorus after the instrumental break. Consider writing lyrics for the break and turning it into a bridge. Then go straight into the final chorus
- So: V / C / V / C / B / C or V / C / V / C / INST / C
TITLE/HOOK
- It’s a good hook. I suggest you don’t give it away in the verse. Save it for the chorus.
LYRIC
- You have a lot of good lines and images and it’s a good sentiment. In general it works well. Perhaps it would have more impact if you were more defined about who you are talking to. It could be your listeners, and that’s fine, but if you can put more of yourself in this, it would have more impact. You basically say the same kinds of things through out the song, so there’s room for different angles and other aspects of the subject that would be less redundant.
OVERALL IDEA
- This is a good theme. I hear this more for the Folk/Americana market.
MELODY/METER
- This is very melodic. The lift towards the end of the chorus works really well, but I suggest you have it come in 2 lines sooner and do the edit I suggested above.
CLOSING COMMENT
- This can use some tweaking, but it’s very cool. Off hand, I can’t think of any artists that would cut this, only because I hear this more for you as an artist, and other artists that would do this kind of thing, usually write their own songs.
What I did with it
After a week of feeling pretty sad and rudderless following the motorcycle accident, on Saturday morning, I got my sorry ass out of bed and went to Bosco’s in Hillsboro village for lunch. There are 3 other café/brunch spots on the block but they all had insane line-ups. So I went to Boscos. And it turned out to be the perfect place for what I had in mind. It’s bigger and quieter that the other spots, so better for me to think straight. They don’t have any breaky grub, but they’ve got a wicked lunch menu.
I ordered the grilled chicken breast sandwich: soy and pineapple marinated chicken breast grilled and topped with fontina cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and basil mayonnaise. Then I pulled out the computer and opened a PDF of the song feedback and a Word doc of the lyrics.
The core idea behind the song is about looking forward to your dreams in a positive way – and I think I put a nice little lyrical spin on it in the hook. Still, I was a bit anxious about the hook/title when submitting the song, because it’s a bit a mellow and mushy. Also, there's a fine line to walk when putting a twist on a familiar phrase or notion. The hook worked for me, but I didn’t know how it would hold up under someone else's scrutiny.
So, I was really happy to read “It’s a good hook. I suggest you don’t give it away in the verse.” I had the hook lyric starting each verse as well as the start and end of the chorus. I was on the fence about that before I submitted it for evaluation, and I’d already been through two or three major re-writes of the song. Again an interesting example of pro feedback in line with a weird feeling I’d had in my gut. I need to stop second-guessing my gut. I keep telling myself that, but it seems I'm not always listening. The same could be said for situations outside writing... Thankfully, that's not what this blog is about!
VERSES
It was easy enough to edit the hook out of the verses, which were structured like this:
Hook line
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme A
Rhyme B
Getting rid of the hook intro quickly shortened and evened things out. Before it was like each verse had a prologue, as if I was telegraphing a pass across center ice. Now I just get down to the business of sliding the puck ahead. I haven’t edited the demo yet, but each verse is 1 or 2 bars shorter, depending on the edit, and therefore 3-6 seconds shorter, depending on what comes before it (ie: intro vs chorus).
For the time being, I haven't cut from 2 to 1 verse at the beginning. Here’s my thinking so far on that: In the original, the prechorus started at 0:30 and the chorus at 0:42. The verses move much quicker now since the ‘prologue’ is out of the way and because the other lines are pretty short (7 syllables in lines 1-3 and 5 syllables in line 4). After the edits, the chorus will still start around 0:36. And I feel like V2 really adds a nice depth to the idea. So I kept it.
Next, I considered this comment: “Perhaps it would have more impact if you were more defined about who you are talking to. It could be your listeners, and that’s fine, but if you can put more of yourself in this, it would have more impact. You basically say the same kinds of things through out the song, so there’s room for different angles and other aspects of the subject…”
This was totally accurate. I had a bunch of nice ways of saying very similar things. So I needed to decide which said it best, then come up with something more to add. The ‘who’ was a bit tricky. In reality, when I wrote the song, I was pep talking myself, but also thinking of language that a couple of friends use for positive thinking and imagining them giving me the advice.
I ended up trashing V3 and V4, and writing a new V3 that adds another layer to the concept as well as suggesting a relationship between singer and listener.
I know, this is all really abstract without being able to read the lyrics. How about this: before, I had three verses that described fire engines. Now I’ve got verses that describe the fire engine, the guys on it, and the granny they pull from the flames.
CHORUS
The old chorus rhyme scheme was A A, B B, C C, but with the singing pauses in there, it actually sounds more like this:
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Lead-in phrase
End rhyme B
Climb-out rhyme C
Into hook rhyme C
Oy. That looks complex, and I know what the real lyrics are. So your head’s probably spinning! I took the advice to shorten and simplify. Now it looks more like this:
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Lead in phrase
End rhyme A
Climb out rhyme B
Into hook rhyme B
Which is essentially a 4-line chorus instead of a 5-line chorus. What the heck was I thinking?
Not only did I delete lines, but I edited the ones that remained, so they do all the work of the old chorus, plus a nice extra nugget from an old verse that got cut.
BRIDGE
I took the existing melody of the instrumental break, combined it with some edited lines from old V4 and presto: bridge.
RECAP
Now the structure is this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / B / C
Instead of this:
V / V / PRE / C / V / PRE / C / INST / PRE / C
All the parts are shorter now, and they build on each other, instead of reiterating the same idea. Truck, firemen, granny instead of truck, truck, truck.
Something else interesting is that this is the first time in my 20 something years writing that I worked on lyrics without picking up a guitar to try them out. The guitar’s absence forced me to focus and be more efficient with my time. Of course, it was a bitter-sweet evolution, since the catalyst is the cast on my fret hand. But it was definitely a good lesson in editing and focus.
I tried playing guitar today. If I hold it like a cello, I can strum high on the neck like a vertical Johnny Cash and fret G and C. But even I don’t have a chord progression that simple. So the guitar wasn’t out of the case for very long.
But the song is stronger now, and that’s what matters for this post.
ML
Always read the fine print
Honestly, I have no recollection of discussing this with anyone at the hospital:
 |
| ER Physician Report, 1 July 2012 |
The "new" one is a distal radius fracture. I'm of course assuming that the cast will do the trick for that too, a convenient two-for-one deal. But I'm still curious. I see more phone tag with Cincinnati in my near future.
Wednesday 4 July 2012
The Scaphoid Blues
The last time I stepped foot in Nashville, it was off a plane and into the arms of a beautiful woman who made my heart sing. Today’s arrival was a lot different.
First, there were no open arms, and I stepped out of the passenger side of a Mercury sedan. Not off a plane and definitely not off the seat of my Suzuki V-Strom as planned. My poor injured bike is currently caged at a wrecking yard in Cincinnati, its fate to be determined by the folks at Jevco Insurance. I’m hoping with all my heart that they will cover shipment back to Canada because I can’t afford to ship it back myself and I won’t be able to ride it in the next two months. It doesn’t run and needs a little work to be road worthy again. Plus there’s the wee issue of the cast on my left arm that poses some problems for squeezing the clutch and holding on in general.
My last post said that the wrist wasn’t broken. I wrote that Saturday night. But Sunday morning, I got a call from the hospital saying another radiologist had looked at the x-ray at it was indeed broken – a fractured scaphoid.
Dr. Hoover at University of Cincinnati Hospital’s hand orthopedic clinic was awesome (actually, everybody in the clinic was awesome) at my follow-up on Tuesday. If you bust your hand, go see him. We sat down in one of those usual little exam rooms with the white medical cupboards, ancient faded bone illustrations on the walls, and the exam bench with stainless steel stirrups and all that jazz.
Doc H started the whole thing by saying “I think the ER folks gave you a bit of a scare on Sunday and, although their hearts were in the right place, there really isn’t that much need to worry in this case.” Then he pulled out his pen. You know that roll of paper they pull down over the bench for each new patient to sit on? He drew a nice big diagram of the scaphoid bone on it. I wish I’d kept it; the pic below is borrowed. Hopefully I’ll recall the details properly.
The scaphoid is kind of bean shaped. Blood flow comes in through the narrow end, so fractures around there usually heal quite well and he hardly ever operates for them. The fat end doesn’t get great circulation, so fractures there tend to cause problems and he often operates there. Other fractures across the middle “waistline” can heal on their own or require surgery. It mostly depends on how well the two pieces of bone are aligned. If they’re displaced, then a screw is needed to pull them back together. But if they’re still well aligned, then they usually heal just fine on their own in a cast.
The two pieces of my scaphoid were perfectly aligned in the Saturday x-rays, and still A-OK in the new x-rays on Tuesday. Doc H said there was a 90-95% chance, probably more like 95%, that my fracture would heal.
This was a massive relief. I told him how stressed I’d been about the possibility of surgery because it meant I’d have to end the trip right there and head back to Canada. I had no idea what the insurance or US cost implications would be, plus I’d like to have ongoing post-op access to the surgeon who did the job. Mostly, it was the fear of $$$.
Why was I so impressed with Dr. Hoover? Aside from the modern art, of course... Because he said things like “Listen, this is my absolute favourite operation, so if there was any reasonable argument for doing it, I’d have you in there right now” and “If it were me, I’d get the cast and go to Nashville. In the off chance it doesn’t heal you can always get the surgery later in Canada and you won’t miss any of the great experiences that lie ahead of you on this trip. But I don’t think you need to worry about the surgery anyway.”
Therefore, I am now in Nashville, from where my friends Pauline and Oliver drove last night, arriving in Cincinnati at 1:05 AM. I had a room waiting for them and we met (amid a sea of excited and very snazzily dressed Chinese choir girls in town for the World Choir Games) over breakfast which I am willing to bet, at the Hampton Inn & Suites on Vine Street, is the biggest and bestest free breakfast at any hotel in North America. They also give discounts to hospital patients and all the staff are wicked friendly and sweet.
We talked for over an hour before loading the car and then talked for five or so more on the road. I had my first Cracker Barrel meal, great chicken pot pie. I had to wrestle Oliver away from the restaurant bill and again away from the gas pump so I could contribute something. After all, they were spending over nine hours driving, half of which was on their 4th of July holiday, to rescue me and my bikeless bike gear from the lovely, I’m sure, but lonely pit stop of Cincinnati.
I can’t thank them enough.
First, there were no open arms, and I stepped out of the passenger side of a Mercury sedan. Not off a plane and definitely not off the seat of my Suzuki V-Strom as planned. My poor injured bike is currently caged at a wrecking yard in Cincinnati, its fate to be determined by the folks at Jevco Insurance. I’m hoping with all my heart that they will cover shipment back to Canada because I can’t afford to ship it back myself and I won’t be able to ride it in the next two months. It doesn’t run and needs a little work to be road worthy again. Plus there’s the wee issue of the cast on my left arm that poses some problems for squeezing the clutch and holding on in general.
My last post said that the wrist wasn’t broken. I wrote that Saturday night. But Sunday morning, I got a call from the hospital saying another radiologist had looked at the x-ray at it was indeed broken – a fractured scaphoid.
Dr. Hoover at University of Cincinnati Hospital’s hand orthopedic clinic was awesome (actually, everybody in the clinic was awesome) at my follow-up on Tuesday. If you bust your hand, go see him. We sat down in one of those usual little exam rooms with the white medical cupboards, ancient faded bone illustrations on the walls, and the exam bench with stainless steel stirrups and all that jazz.
Doc H started the whole thing by saying “I think the ER folks gave you a bit of a scare on Sunday and, although their hearts were in the right place, there really isn’t that much need to worry in this case.” Then he pulled out his pen. You know that roll of paper they pull down over the bench for each new patient to sit on? He drew a nice big diagram of the scaphoid bone on it. I wish I’d kept it; the pic below is borrowed. Hopefully I’ll recall the details properly.
 |
| Image source: http://www.mlrehabpt.com/?page=library&list=wrist&article=42#article_top |
The two pieces of my scaphoid were perfectly aligned in the Saturday x-rays, and still A-OK in the new x-rays on Tuesday. Doc H said there was a 90-95% chance, probably more like 95%, that my fracture would heal.
This was a massive relief. I told him how stressed I’d been about the possibility of surgery because it meant I’d have to end the trip right there and head back to Canada. I had no idea what the insurance or US cost implications would be, plus I’d like to have ongoing post-op access to the surgeon who did the job. Mostly, it was the fear of $$$.
Why was I so impressed with Dr. Hoover? Aside from the modern art, of course... Because he said things like “Listen, this is my absolute favourite operation, so if there was any reasonable argument for doing it, I’d have you in there right now” and “If it were me, I’d get the cast and go to Nashville. In the off chance it doesn’t heal you can always get the surgery later in Canada and you won’t miss any of the great experiences that lie ahead of you on this trip. But I don’t think you need to worry about the surgery anyway.”
Therefore, I am now in Nashville, from where my friends Pauline and Oliver drove last night, arriving in Cincinnati at 1:05 AM. I had a room waiting for them and we met (amid a sea of excited and very snazzily dressed Chinese choir girls in town for the World Choir Games) over breakfast which I am willing to bet, at the Hampton Inn & Suites on Vine Street, is the biggest and bestest free breakfast at any hotel in North America. They also give discounts to hospital patients and all the staff are wicked friendly and sweet.
We talked for over an hour before loading the car and then talked for five or so more on the road. I had my first Cracker Barrel meal, great chicken pot pie. I had to wrestle Oliver away from the restaurant bill and again away from the gas pump so I could contribute something. After all, they were spending over nine hours driving, half of which was on their 4th of July holiday, to rescue me and my bikeless bike gear from the lovely, I’m sure, but lonely pit stop of Cincinnati.
I can’t thank them enough.
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